***Please Note this is a Fan Fic. I do not own the copyright to any of the licensed characters or properties. This is simply for fun. Opening video is animated by Shiya Moegin***
Truthfully, I wouldn’t be caught dead with this crowd, but those scheming bastards left me with no choice. I’m not a fool. As soon as that shadow thing gives the go ahead, the loners will be the first to go. It’s simply the way of things.
So, I was left with no other choice than to assemble this band of misfits together. We look absolutely atrocious as a team, but I believe we’ll stand a chance. Even though she’s got three sticks up her ass at all times, Samus is tough. We need tough.
Isabelle and the Villager have joined us now. Villager is one of those weirdos like Link who doesn’t talk. Isabelle often has to speak for him. The only reason I allowed him into our circle is because of her. Besides, he seems just as harmless as Olimar, and he’s adorable to boot! I can’t bring myself to allow him to get taken out so quickly.
“Marth and his warriors are gathering on the east side. The villains are at the north. Other factions are scattered along the southern side,” Samus scans the arena, trying to form a strategy for us to follow. “I don’t think it’s wise to stay here in the southwestern quadrant. There’s no activity on the western side, so I imagine the villains may come this way first.”
“Oh dear!” Isabelle gasps. “Should we move somewhere else?”
Samus shakes her head. “That’ll put us right in the middle of everything. It’s going to be pure chaos in the beginning. There’s no telling who’s going to attack first or if anyone’s going to hold their positions.”
I shake my head, sighing deeply. “Well, it certainly keeps things interesting.”
“It said objects are going to fall from the sky,” Samus turns to face us. “A few of us should be dedicated to finding the strongest weapons to keep away from the others. If you see a Pokeball, for instance, take it immediately and throw it. Stop whatever it is you’re doing to chase after it. Same goes with the Smash Ball.”
Isabelle, Villager, and Olimar nod. Wii Fit Trainer pumps her fist in the air.
“Work toward strong, firm abs!” she says.
I sigh. I guess she can’t say anything normal after all. Samus is right, though. It’s going to be a complete maelstrom once this thing gets going. I can only hope that we’re prepared for what’s coming. I look at the Villager, who waves at me with a cheerful expression.
“He’s very glad to be fighting beside you,” says Isabelle. She too looks jolly as always. Such innocence. It’s as if all we’re going to do is take a walk in some damn park together.
Olimar is shivering like always. He has a few of his Pikmin at his side now. I’m not exactly sure what they do, but hopefully they can help us.
I stare up towards the sky, and I can still see them. Samus didn’t say anything about the Master Hand or Crazy Hand. Apparently, they’re not a part of her plan, but they just might become a part of mine. If I can survive the initial chaos of this tournament, I should have time to devise a new strategy.
I’m going to take out that shadow son of a bitch.
It’s either that, or I win the tournament. I can’t say what the odds are yet as it’s too early to tell. I scan the field, noting the villains in the north. If they come this way, we’ll have to engage them. Hopefully, someone will help us take some of them out.
“Bayonetta, I don’t think you’ve ever been this quiet,” Samus is watching me. Even though I can’t see behind her green visor, I know she’s concerned.
“Nothing to be worried about, tin tits,” I say. “I simply needed a moment to think a few things through.”
Samus turns away from us. “Not getting cold feet, are you?”
“Samus, when you have guns on your feet, you’re never cold.”
Samus gestures towards the arena. “Good, because we’re going to need you throughout this entire thing.”
I cross my arms, trying to stifle a grin. She’s right. I can’t lose my nerve now. It’s unlike me to be this anxious about anything. Still, I can’t shake the sinister feeling that sociopathic demon child gives off. I’ve fought in this universe before, but this time it’s different.
Just like Galeem and Dharkon, we’ll end up having to fight that creature. That’s what makes me nervous. Galeem and Dharkon were stronger than any other enemy we’ve ever faced, and Galeem wiped us out with a single attack in the beginning. It created an entire world with one swipe.
Now this thing says it’ll wipe out our entire home universe if we lose. How can we defeat something that powerful when we’re too busy fighting each other?
It’s all about survival now. We have no choice. Someone has to win and defeat the creepy shadow kid. Then, maybe, we can figure out how to fix everything.
Samus has turned back to face me now, stiff and sallow as always. She wants confirmation that I’m not going to change my mind about working with her. I’ll play along for now, but when the opportunity presents itself I’m going after that thing. She’ll just have to understand.
“Let’s give them hell, tin tits.”