13 Gay Men Tell Their Grindr Horror Stories

 

Grindr can be quite the cesspool at times. I’m shivering at the mere mention of “cesspool.” It just has a slimy, disgusting feel to it. Of course, none of that compares to some of the Grindr horror stories a few gay men shared on Reddit.

From silver daddy stalkers to men who answer the door wearing a diaper, there’s a lot to digest. And by “digest,” I mean figuratively digest. Don’t expect to have much of an appetite reading some of these, and definitely don’t read the stories while you’re eating. You love yourself, don’t you? Of course you do.

So let’s get right to it! Tuck in below as 13 gay men tell their Grindr horror stories. Still think you’ve got it bad out there?

***WARNING. SOME OF THE STORIES BELOW CONTAIN GRAPHIC LANGUAGE THAT MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOUNGER READERS. USE DISCRETION WHEN SCROLLING DOWN***

“Guy Had a Long Day?”

Had a guy headed over.

Super hot. Like. Super fucking hot.

Fell asleep. FML.

“Maybe It Was for the Best”

Mine’s pretty mild.

I went out to meet a hookup at a terminal subway stop. I get in his pickup and we start to chat. He gets belligerent all of a sudden and starts complaining about meeting me and how I looked. He said this ain’t going to work. So, I said ok and left.

Mind you, I have an accurate pic and stats on my apps and he did agreed to time and place.

I really wasn’t pissed about me not working for him, but he was such an asshole about it.

“Sweet Sixteen?”

I don’t use hook ups, but I know many people who do. One is a big burly bear, he went looking to get with a cub one night and got in touch with this guy. He said he was 26 and was like 6’2″ and 220 pounds with a full beard and stash. Said he wanted to meet up at a park and go to his house since he wasn’t comfortable going straight to someone else’s house. So he went and met him at a park and as they started walking away it turns out the kids mom found out what he was doing some how and ran up and started yelling at the kid and dragged him away back home. Turned out he was only 16.

“He’s a Silver Fox…and a Stalker”

Well it’s not as bad as some of you guys (I’m so sorry that happened to you all btw) but in my early 20’s I was going through a silver daddy phase through grindr. I have several bad stories but I’ll go with my worst. I had my email on my profile at the time (Idk why but this is important for later) and I contact this guy in his 60’s and he was actually really nice… at the beginning. Well we hook up once and everything went fine but the second time we meet up he tells me many things. Like that he went through my FB, youtube accounts, school history and better yet he actually knew who I was before we hooked up. He used to be my grandmother’s manager and knew me and held me when I was a baby. I freak out and try leave and he grabs me and tells me not to leave that “we were meant to be” that he wants to be a part of my life. He wouldn’t let me leave until he “had a talk” with me and I was legit scared so I decided if I just listen maybe I can leave peacefully. I kind of disconnected from reality and to this day I don’t remember what all he said. The next thing I remember was I got in my car and drove away. After that I obviously never talked to him again but every now and then I would find notes left on my car around town and at work. Thankfully I went to college next year and never had to deal with it again.

“I Mean…Who Does That?”

Hooked up with a guy at my place. He said he wanted to fuck me. Then when he arrived we started screwing around and instead of going for my ass he just rubbed against my crotch until he shot his load.

Disappointing but whatever.

Then just as he was about to leave he started demanding money from me “or else” and refused to leave. I think he was expecting me to be some weedy queen about it, but instead I basically physically threw him out the door.

Could have been a lot worse but pretty scary at the time.

“This Guy Sounds Awfully Familiar…”

Wasn’t on Grindr, it was on grommr. Guy hit me up, we talked, I went over. When I got there he was wearing a diaper and had a pacifier in his mouth. Instantly felt creepy, had to leave. Deleted the app after that.

“He Was Going Through It”

A guy around my age used old photos and looked very different. I think he might have been depressed and had sort of stopped taking care of himself and his apartment. He was still handsome, just not in the same way he was in his photos. I told him beforehand I only wanted to hook up but he really wanted to cuddle. He made very intense eye contact and kind of made me uncomfortable, and by the time we started to fool around a bit, I wasn’t feeling it any more. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and after I left he sent me a message telling me how sweet I was and he couldn’t wait to see my again, and I felt really terrible but it was not what I was expecting at all.

“Yeah, You’re Grounded”

nearly got thrown off a cliff when I was 16 because I wouldn’t suck his dick lol.
Pro Tip~; don’t meet dudes near cliffs.

“Lost My Appetite”

had my second grindr hookup where i didnt come and was mad so later that night i found another hookup on some petty shit.

we hooked up in the parking lot of my old elementary school and everything was going alright until i went to suck his dick and he smelled so bad like a dirty cookout uncle. i wanted to gag i left and went home and stuck a bar of soap in my mouth

“You’re Somebody’s Hero…I Guess…”

I drunkenly hooked up with a lonely obese 70 year old man in the park on night off grindr. He was really lonely and i think he mostly just wanted company so we talked for a couple hours on the beach before he sucked me off. I tried going down on him but turns out he had ed. Not my proudest moment.

“This Happens Way Too Often”

Guy messages me while I am on my way over to his house that we had to be kinda quick because his girlfriend was going to be home from work soon. I refuse to knowingly help someone cheat, especially some closet-case.

I just told him I forgot I had to work on a project/presentation and turned around to go home.

“He Wasn’t Buying It”

Met a guy who looked like a crystal meth user…just a guess, not totally sure what a crystal meth user looks like, but this guy was sickly skinny…

I told him he was too intimidating looking for me, LOL(no idea why I said that….) and I was just not into it…

He was literally, “dude, you are fucking built like a brick shit house and look like you could break me in half….”

I apologized and told him thanks, but no thanks, and bailed. LOL, my motto is if its iffy, decline.

“Don’t Worry. They’ll Find You Eventually”

Making a profile and not being contacted by a single guy. Lol

Chawl…that was too much! But we’re not done, and I know you crave more crazy stories. If that wasn’t enough entertainment for you, you can also read all about my horrible dating misadventures in my new e-book, My Horrible Gay Dating Life. Diaper Boy from earlier makes an appearance.

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11 Gay Men Tell Their Horrible Gay Dating Stories

 

 

Look, dating is hard for everybody, especially gay guys. There aren’t very many of us to begin with (contrary to popular belief), and we’re notoriously picky. Not only that, some of us can be just plain weird at times.

We’ve all had a horrible dating experience, but these Reddit users and their stories take the cake. From witches summoning dragons to cause earthquakes to crazy sweater-stealing exes, there’s plenty of gay dating horror stories to get into below. Are you ready to feel better about your dating situation?

“Didn’t Know What Hermes Was”

The guy was wearing an Hermes belt, the one with the big H on it. At the time I knew nothing about fashion or what Hermes was, so I asked what the H stood for. He scoffed at that, said “I don’t think this is going to work out” and then straight up left.

He was right though, it probably wasn’t going to ever work out.

“He Wasn’t a Fan of Mutants”

Back during the dark ages of online dating – here I am thinking gay.com – I met up with a guy to spend some time in my town. We went downtown, to the mall, and I suggested a movie. We glanced into the the theater. I saw this one listing … called “Hills”. Turns out, it was The Hills Have Eyes.

The nuclear mutants eating people did not bother me so much. Until they started eating the baby while violating the mother and the daughter simultaneously. I became lightheaded, and recognized that I was about to pass out from the sudden anxiety and adrenaline. I had to sit Indian style in the hallway, breathe deeply, and I broke out in a cold sweat. The manager inquried if I was okay, I said it was just nerves and it would eventually pass. They took pity on me, giving me a free ticket. My date took pity on me, consoling me and asking me if I was ok (mind you I am like 6’2” football player , he was like 5’10”).

Needless to say, I was humiliated. The moral of the story? Dunno. I still got laid.

“Third Wheel, Much?”

About 8 years ago I met a guy online. We decided to meet for lunch. He brought a female friend and proceeded to spend the date talking to her and practically ignoring me. She seemed as uncomfortable as me. Very strange.

“Things Escalated Quickly”

A girl in my apartment building set me up on a date with one of her coworkers. We met up for drinks and about 5 minutes in he told me he invited a couple friends friends. Over the next half hour about a dozen people joined our group and the guy spent the night hanging out with them.

“Who Pays For Grindr?”

He asked me out, we went to grab some drinks. Then while we were talking, he busted out his iPad and played some games and occasionally chatting with someone else on Grindr (we also met on Grindr). For some retarded reason, he proudly told me that he was paying for Grindr Xtra on both his phone and his iPad. Wat. When I said I’m tired and should go home, he then offered to go back to his place 5 minutes away, to “cuddle.” Nope.

“Speaking of Grindr Though”

Met a guy on Grindr that looked pretty hot. The way that he was messaging me seemed really odd, like it was a thirteen year old kid writing them. I figured what the hell, we’ll see what happens. I met him at a bar pretty close to my place. Right from the beginning it was one of the most confusing interactions that I’ve had with another human being. Within the first few minutes he went on this whole political rant, and then halfway through it asked if he had a point. I didn’t. So after he realized that crashed and burned, he asked me if I liked amusement parks. I had no idea how to respond to the question, because we were two guys in our mid-twenties, at a dive bar, drinking cheap beer. I was so confused. I think after that he asked if I like roller coasters, fried food, and living in Seattle. He then went on to explain to me that every four years he decides to move to a new city to try and change things up. He did this by choosing two random cities on a list, flipping a coin between the two, and then moving to said city. After a while of talking to him I was struggling to keep up conversation, so I made up some excuse and left after my first beer. To this day I don’t know if I was on some hidden camera show.

“Would You Watch a Show Called Military Husbands?

Well, he wasn’t actually single, he had a boyfriend, but he was deployed to Iraq. I’ve heard the stereotypes about military wives, but apparently it applies to military boyfriends too.

edit: He didn’t tell me about the boyfriend until dinner. Mentioned it very casually like it was NBD that he lied about being single.

“Was It Worth It, Though?”

Guy got so drunk he passed out in my car and couldn’t tell me where he lived so i could take him home. He woke up every 20 minutes or so to tell me which direction to turn, and then once to puke everywhere.

He gave good head though..

“Guy Obviously Has More Going On Than Butt Problems”

I met a guy at Caribou Coffee. It was his idea to grab coffee. Well, I get there, and he messaged me to let me know that he was going to be a little late. So, he showed up a half hour late. I already had my coffee. I asked him if he wanted anything, and he said, “I don’t like coffee.” So, I said he could get tea or something else. He refused. So, we started to just chat. He wouldn’t stop complaining about how loud the machines were there. But, worst of all, he told me that he couldn’t stay too long because sitting too long would bother his cyst. Yes, that’s right, he started talking about a cyst on his butt (This was our first and last date). He didn’t stop with just the mention of it. He continued to talk about it. He told me what kind it was (I can’t recall the name) and explained that it is the result of an ingrown hair developing to a cyst and that these are common in men who sit a lot. I have not had anyone top this one.

“Just Gonna Pull the Psychosis Card On This One”

I met a guy on OkCupid once, his profile seemed okay, so I agreed to meet him for dinner and movie. We both get to the movie about thirty-minutes early, so we decided to walk around the plaza and get to know each other a little better. We were making small talk when he suddenly tells me ‘I’m a wizard.’ I don’t much of it, I tell him I have some friends who are Wiccan and I’m cool with it, but then he goes on to tell me that he’s a real wizard and can control people minds and control fire and stuff like that.

At that point I was torn, part of me wanted to just call it a night and go home, but the other part of me really wanted to see the movie, so I decided to stay and see what happened. After that movie, it turns out that his idea of dinner was Burger Kind drive-thru, and since he didn’t have a car I had to get the food and then drive him home. As I’m driving him home, I start to realize that the way I’m taking looked really familiar. I finally realized that he lived in the same apartment that a good friend of mine did, we used to work together and I’d drive him home on nights that it was too cold to bike in, but all of a sudden he dropped all communication with me one year in February and stopped coming into work.

I asked to guy if he knew my old friend, who then laughed and said that they used to be roommates, until he got tired of him and decided to kick him out…by tossing all his stuff into the parking lot while he was at work one day. At that point I got really angry and kicked him out of my car, I remembered my friend told me that his family lived on the West Coast and wasn’t too happy with him, so now I have no clue where he went to.

After about a week or so we had a slight earthquake in town, which was kinda weird since I can’t ever remember having an earthquake in West Virginia, but later that day the douchebag texted me saying that the earthquake was caused by a dragon living under the city. I replied back with a ‘fuck you’ and never heard from him again.

“Play It Safe, Guys”

Okie doke, so I had recently stopped seeing this guy and decided to get back on the horse right away. I made an OKCupid and got a couple of hits over a few days. I do not photograph well and it is very rare that I like photos of me, but there was this one in particular of me and the ex that is just super flattering of me, so I put that one up too. This one cute guy in particular messaged me multiple times and was really interested in meeting up with me. He was really nice and we had some mutual Facebook friends, and he worked close to my apartment, so I invited him over for dinner and a movie.

So he comes over and is really nice and still seems super interested and is asking a bunch of questions about me and my past and eventually we get on the subject of our past boyfriends. That’s when it starts to get a llittle weird. At that point the movie was playing, but there was pretty much no attention being paid to it. It started out as a few innocent questions here and there and pretty soon I found out that my ex was his ex also and I actually thought it was really funny. At one point I even pulled out one of his favorite sweaters that he left at my place and it was confirmed.

I didn’t really care, but then it turned into a full on interview on when we met, what we did, when we did it, how fast it progressed, what the emotional connection was, if I ever met his family, if he ever met mine, how often he had been in my apartment. Every single question had something to do with this guy and it was not even subtle like it had been in the beginning. At that point it was super uncomfortable, but I had already told him that he could sleep over (spare bedroom) since he worked in the morning also AND he had been drinking and smoking so I wasn’t going to put him out even though I totally should have.

Next morning I woke up to find him and the sweater gone. Blocked on OKCupid, blocked on Facebook. Never heard from him again. I later found out from a mutual “friend” that our ex started seeing me when he was still with him, and that I was at fault for their relationship ending. So I’m just lucky I did not get stabbed. Worst date ever.

Yikes, right?And if you thought these stories were bad, think again. My dating life was even worse. Don’t believe me? Check out my new e-book My Horrible Gay Dating Life and find out for yourself. Don’t worry. It won’t take long for you to feel much better about your romantic history.

 

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