Yeah, we’re going there. Listen, happy thoughts are important. Let’s acknowledge that. Good? Awesome.
Now let’s talk about people needing you to be chipper and upbeat at all times. That’s when I kindly tell you to fuck off. We don’t need to be all smiles and rainbows 24/7 lest we be doomed to a life of misery and sadness.
Why? Let’s get into a few reasons.
It’s Toxic As Hell
Toxic positivity is where people think you should be positive all the time no matter what. You should embrace all positive thoughts while rejecting negative ones. So, basically, if you’re having a bad day, it’s because you’ve chosen to.
And that’s complete, utter bullshit.
It’s important and healthy to address those negative thoughts as well as the happy thoughts. When we avoid the difficult feelings, we stunt our growth. We don’t learn how to properly communicate. And we assume any negative feeling we have is a character flaw.
It’s not, by the way.
The Negativity Grows Instead of You
When we ignore those harsh feelings, they don’t simply vanish into thin air. They stay with us and grow until we can no longer ignore them. We end up lashing out at someone or something. Or we avoid them altogether.
Our negative emotions are designed to help us identify potential threats. We may see a dangerous animal in the road. Our immediate emotional response is fear, right?
Fear is a negative feeling. Yet, it’s a natural response meant to ultimately help us, just like sadness and anxiety. So, why are we meant to be ashamed of our instincts?
Short answer? We shouldn’t be ashamed. Instead, we should be figuring out what’s causing them.
It Doesn’t Make You Superior When People Can’t Relate to You
You aren’t better than anyone because you choose to ignore your negative emotions. You aren’t “enlightened” because you read the first 3 chapters of The Secret. Don’t mistake a false sense of self-righteousness with tranquility and understanding.
For one, you’re not coming across enlightened. To many, being fake positive all the time comes across as unapproachable. People feel like they can’t relate to you. Or they feel like they’ll get lectured for having the audacity to be in a bad mood that day.
It’s not cute, boo. It’s tiring.
A High Sense of Self-Worth is Key
So don’t actually tell these people to fuck off, right? Let’s make friends. Instead, push towards an elevated sense of self-worth.
I recommend reading Life After Low Self-Esteem and sharing with anyone you know who struggles with low self-worth.