I’m pretty brutal when it comes to cutting ties. It’s swift, deliberate, and it’s usually permanent. I don’t cut people out of my life just to bait them into coming back.
I make peace with their eventual absence long before I make my decision. It sounds cold-hearted, and it certainly can be if utilized incorrectly.
Let’s get into reasons why I banish certain people.
I Am No Longer Your Doormat
I used to not stand up for myself, especially in relationships, due to low self-esteem. I’d allow myself to be constantly mistreated just to maintain a connection. I once even swooned over a dude who convinced people I was stalking him. Crazy, right?
I was so afraid to stand up for myself and want better. Would people mock me or take me seriously? Could I stand to be alone without someone to talk to or be intimate with? I always thought the answer was no.
That was until I learned how to speak up.
Now, it all comes naturally. I no longer tolerate what I consider blatant disrespect in any form. And I never will.
Our Friendship is Likely One-Sided Anyway
I am the former king of one-sided friendships. It’s a hard habit for me to break because I naturally want to give and make people happy. I don’t want people to feel as awful as my depression has made me feel.
But that doesn’t mean I have to do all the work.
No, I will not make all the plans. You can figure out what you want to eat on your own for a change. Maybe you can actually remember my birthday this year. I’m tired of you flaking out and excusing it with your mental illness. Also, I have a mental illness too. Respect people’s time. The End.
This Isn’t Anything I Haven’t Already Told You
You’ll pretend like it is, as if I’m just being hysterical and unfair. It’s unfortunately what people tend to do when they’re called out.
And unfortunately for you, it won’t work with me.
No, this is not the first time I’ve brought up you forgetting my birthday, flaking out on plans, etc. We’re more than likely in the double digits on the number of reminders now.
I’m not going to keep having the same argument about the same thing. Why should I? So you can gaslight me into thinking I’m nagging you all the time? Nope, you can fade into “Random iPhone text data” obscurity.
Life is Too Short. I Deserve Better. Period.
I cut people out of my life because I know my capabilities and my limits. We are not promised any new day in this life. I have to make the most of every moment with people I love who love me back.
I used to believe I expected too much out of people. It wasn’t until I revamped my self-esteem that I discovered I expected too little. I highly recommend reading my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, if you struggle with self-worth.
We are not settling for anything less than what we deserve.