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Is It Brutal Honesty or Just Brutal?

We view brutal honesty as the ultimate honesty.

We tell our loved ones we’re “keeping it real” before we proceed to eviscerate their life choices. Then, they get defensive and rail back on us for hurt feelings. We, in turn, claim we’re just “calling it like we see it.”

But is it all even necessary?

At what point does brutal honesty become just brutality? Are we lying to ourselves about what it means to honest with others? I have a few points to consider.

Are Your Beliefs the Absolute Truth?

It’s important to distinguish fact from opinion. Just because you believe something to be true, it doesn’t mean it’s reality. Let’s consider the phrase, “I just tell it like it is.” Exactly what is it? Think about what you believe the person’s problem is versus what they’ve actually told you.

For instance, I had an interaction with a friend recently. I told them I was having a bad day. They proceeded to say “Quit complaining and do something about your life. I don’t want to hear you moan and groan anymore until you do!”

I was actually at a point in my life where things were going exceptionally well. Most of my days went swimmingly. That particular day wasn’t going great. So, where did my friend get everything else from?

Turns out, they were basing their opinion on events that happened to me several years ago. They remembered when I was at a low point in my life and for some reason hadn’t caught up since. That goes back to belief versus facts. The fact was me saying I had a bad day. The belief was my friend thinking my life was in shambles and in need of fixing.

See the difference?

Are You Helping or Hurting?

Brutal honesty usually comes across as negative. I’ve personally never heard someone say, “I’m gonna be brutally honest with you. You’re an amazing, talented person.” Instead, I’ve heard, “I’m going to tell you something you might not like…” followed by an unnecessarily harsh monologue.

Think about it. Is negativity towards someone designed to help? Doesn’t positive reinforcement work better than tearing someone down just to “toughen them up?”

Is your intent to truly help someone or simply get something off your chest? How you say something is just as important as what you say. Do you ever offer praise or encouragement? If honesty is the goal, shouldn’t those aspects also be a focus?

Consider the Relationship Dynamic

Too often, brutal honesty occurs in a relationship that is unequal (or perceived that way). A high-level exec at a company may berate a lower-level employee. Afterwards, that exec might “flower it up” by calling it tough love. However, if the tables were turned, would this be acceptable? Probably not.

If a person perceives themselves to have it “more together” than someone else, they’ll usually feel comfortable giving that person advice. However, would the person who has it “together” be okay with the other person administering tough love? Probably not.

Butal honesty too often gets rooted in a need to feel superior while belittling others. Consider how you’d feel if someone you perceived to be “less than” gave you the same advice you give others.

Why Do You Need to be Unkind?

We live in the age of social media and its perceived cancel culture. Naturally there will be those who resist what they feel is censorship. In a time where facts often get discarded in favor of opinions, we also misconstrue what counts as honesty.

Truth doesn’t have to be unkind. It doesn’t have to hurt or demolish. So, why do some of us gravitate towards the brutality of it? The world is filled with cruel words, especially on social media. We, in turn, believe that we’re helping others by feeding into that negativity by giving our unfiltered opinions.

Except, it doesn’t have to work that way, especially with people we care about. Being able to tell the truth without hurting is a sign of emotional maturity and empathy. People have feelings, and they’re allowed to protect them.

How Do We Gain Emotional Maturity?

It starts with a sense of self. In my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, I talk about the many methods I used to overcome self-doubt and low emotional intelligence. The good news? Anyone can overcome any of the items mentioned. Check it out, and let me know what you think!

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Being Lonely Shouldn’t be Terrifying

Lonely. It’s a word few of us say out loud.

We know someone who seems lonely, and sometimes we perceive them to be miserable. After all, we’re conditioned to believe “miserable” and “loneliness” go hand-in-hand.

So, we don’t talk about how lonely we are. Instead, we push that feeling away when it materializes. We don’t want to be miserable or be perceived as such.

However, we don’t have to fear being alone. It’s possible to work through those feelings of loneliness while eventually establishing new bonds and relationships. Let’s go over a few ways to accomplish this.

People Want to Hear From You. Reach Out

As I mentioned before, shame often accompanies loneliness. We feel like we have it stamped on our forehead, so we avoid others. We retreat into our safe places, running from the idea of someone else knowing.

The truth? It’s not as bad as we think, even if someone else knows we’re lonely. In fact, it’s an opportunity to show that it’s not a big deal.

We hesitate at times to reach out because we think “If they’re not reaching out, they must not want to hear from me.” Honey, if they’re your friends/family, of course they want to hear from you. Reach out!

Break the Negative Thought Cycle

Be kind to yourself. And honest.

Sometimes, we’re going to get it wrong when it comes to emotions. We all do it. It’s normal, and it inspires growth. That’s why it’s so important to be able to identify what we’re feeling and respond appropriately. We’re able to break those negative thought patterns this way.

Sometimes, we create these self-centered views based on our negative emotions. We assume people don’t like us, which is why we’re lonely. However, if we’re honest about our situation, that’s usually not the case.

We have friends and family who love and support us. We’re just focused on the emotion that’s most intimidating. Happiness doesn’t scare us as much as loneliness does.

When we’re overcome by loneliness, it’s important to stop and identify it.

Join a Community. Help a Cause

Perhaps now you’re ready to do something about feeling lonely. So, where do you start?

Many people find benefit in volunteering or joining cause. It’s a chance for individuals to meet new people with shared interests. If you’re new to an area, for instance, it’s a great way to not only help your community but get to know it as well.

It’s also a great time to practice those social skills! Not everyone thrives on social energy, and that’s fine. Some people are more introverted than others. Some are shy and need a little time to warm up to new faces. With time and the momentum gained from interacting with like-minded individuals, it’s much easier to establish bonds and friendships.

Beyond that, volunteering combats the effects of stress, depression, anxiety, and much more. What you put into your community ends up coming back to you. That’s something to reflect on!

Remember Your Sense of Self

It all starts with knowing who you are. In my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, I touch on practices to establish a positive self-identity. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

And remember. Loneliness is nothing to fear.

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When Cutting People Off Becomes Toxic

So, I went into detail about why I let people go. For most, the act of cutting people off emerges from a place of self-care. We realize we are being mistreated, and we seek to remedy the problem.

However, just like with anything, there’s a wrong way to go about it. Instead of cutting ties with toxic people, YOU become the toxic person needlessly burning bridges.

Let’s walk through a few ways this can happen.

When You’re Not Honest With Yourself

Be honest. Did your boyfriend really treat you as badly as you claim he did, or were you exaggerating a little? Did you eject that long-time friend from your life because they did something wrong? Or was it because you didn’t properly communicate your expectations?

Something I’ve been guilty of is expecting people to know what I want from them. I’d get frustrated because I’d think “Why is it so hard for them? I don’t expect much anyway!”

So, when they’d make a misstep like forgetting my birthday, blowing me off to hang with other people, etc, I’d just nix the friendship without communicating with them. Then, they’d be confused and hurt, and we’d both end up with unresolved issues. Nothing would get solved.

Turns out people can’t read your minds, and you can’t read theirs. They also can’t be held accountable for things you never properly address.

When You Simply Isolate From Everyone

Sometimes we think we’re punishing others by removing ourselves from their lives. We think to ourselves “This’ll show them!” as we deactivate all of our social media accounts and refuse to answer anyone’s texts.

Then, inevitably, we realize this solves little and wind up returning to our circle with our tail between our legs. We don’t punish anyone but ourselves.

Isolating from others does more harm than good in nearly any situation to begin with. If you feel neglected by others, it’s better to communicate with them as to why.

When You Recruit People to be Spiteful

You’ve decided to bestow your boyfriend with the ex qualifier now. You’re officially done with him for life, but that’s not enough! Now you have to get your friends, family, and pets to disown him as well.

You decide your best friend has disrespected you one-too-many times, so you break free. Except now you want the rest of the circle to leave them out as well. So, all of you regularly go out without including them.

Now imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you like it if an entire group suddenly shunned you and left you out? And we’re talking about for minor offenses like forgetting birthdays, not cheating or trash talking. Does it really warrant all that?

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have boundaries. It’s okay to express to people that you need your space. What’s not okay is banding a troop together to slander and tarnish someone because of a bad breakup, relationship or otherwise.

It Starts With a Sense of Self

Cutting people off shouldn’t always be the answer.

The above scenarios happen usually because we need to work on our communication skills. We struggle to express our feelings sometimes because we feel we can’t stand up for ourselves.

This often stems from low self-worth or self-esteem in the individual. That sounds a little drastic, right? Except, it’s not! Improving your self-worth is relatively easy and something I recommend to most people who struggle with communication. Check out my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, for more details.

And remember. Cut people out when it’s appropriate, not because you’re afraid to express yourself.

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I Cut People Out of My Life, and I’m Not Sorry About It

I’m pretty brutal when it comes to cutting ties. It’s swift, deliberate, and it’s usually permanent. I don’t cut people out of my life just to bait them into coming back.

I make peace with their eventual absence long before I make my decision. It sounds cold-hearted, and it certainly can be if utilized incorrectly.

Let’s get into reasons why I banish certain people.

I Am No Longer Your Doormat

I used to not stand up for myself, especially in relationships, due to low self-esteem. I’d allow myself to be constantly mistreated just to maintain a connection. I once even swooned over a dude who convinced people I was stalking him. Crazy, right?

I was so afraid to stand up for myself and want better. Would people mock me or take me seriously? Could I stand to be alone without someone to talk to or be intimate with? I always thought the answer was no.

That was until I learned how to speak up.

Now, it all comes naturally. I no longer tolerate what I consider blatant disrespect in any form. And I never will.

Our Friendship is Likely One-Sided Anyway

I am the former king of one-sided friendships. It’s a hard habit for me to break because I naturally want to give and make people happy. I don’t want people to feel as awful as my depression has made me feel.

But that doesn’t mean I have to do all the work.

No, I will not make all the plans. You can figure out what you want to eat on your own for a change. Maybe you can actually remember my birthday this year. I’m tired of you flaking out and excusing it with your mental illness. Also, I have a mental illness too. Respect people’s time. The End.

This Isn’t Anything I Haven’t Already Told You

You’ll pretend like it is, as if I’m just being hysterical and unfair. It’s unfortunately what people tend to do when they’re called out.

And unfortunately for you, it won’t work with me.

No, this is not the first time I’ve brought up you forgetting my birthday, flaking out on plans, etc. We’re more than likely in the double digits on the number of reminders now.

I’m not going to keep having the same argument about the same thing. Why should I? So you can gaslight me into thinking I’m nagging you all the time? Nope, you can fade into “Random iPhone text data” obscurity.

Life is Too Short. I Deserve Better. Period.

I cut people out of my life because I know my capabilities and my limits. We are not promised any new day in this life. I have to make the most of every moment with people I love who love me back.

I used to believe I expected too much out of people. It wasn’t until I revamped my self-esteem that I discovered I expected too little. I highly recommend reading my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, if you struggle with self-worth.

We are not settling for anything less than what we deserve.

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Taking Care of Yourself Also Means Educating Yourself

We need self-care tips more than ever now. It’s imperative that we discover ways to keep ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy. But did you know taking care of yourself also involves education?

I know what you’re thinking. Maybe. Perhaps, you believe you’re done with “schooling.” You’re probably like me. You got your degree, realized it was useless, and burned yourself out on “learning.”

Well, don’t give up on education yet! It’s never too late to learn something new. Let’s run through a few ways to stimulate your mind.

Don’t Just Veg Out After Work Every Day

I’ve mentioned before that there’s a difference between self-care and self-indulgence. Watching TV after a long day at work is certainly relaxing. I definitely partake after my hectic work days.

Still, it’s important to practice moderation. A study conducted by Tohoku University found that watching excessive amounts of TV can lower your IQ. If you really think about it, that adds up. Even though I love it, what exactly is intellectually stimulating about most reality shows?

I’m not saying cut TV out of your life completely. For me, I need that period of time to just have something playing as I untangle my brain for a few minutes. Just don’t forget to find a way to stimulate your mind at least once a day.

Reading Helps Reduce Stress

Yes, you’re going to have to start reading if you don’t already. It’s an integral part of taking care of yourself.

According to research, reading helps alleviate stress more than other mediums. In fact, it can reduce stress by about 60% in just 6 minutes. It’s more beneficial than taking a walk, listening to music, or even playing video games.

Reading achieves this by lowering your heart rate, easing muscle tension, and altering your state of mind. We all love to escape into a new world when we read, right? Well, now you have even more reason to.

Learn Something New. Make New Mistakes

Say it with me. It’s okay to get it wrong at first. Learning is all about making mistakes, if we’re being honest.

Don’t be afraid to learn or try something new. Whether it’s a new skill or simply a new word, make every effort to expand you mind. Learn how to cook (or find a way to improve it). Expand your vocabulary by learning one new word a day. It’s really that easy.

You’ll be surprised how accomplished you feel no matter what the task is. I go into more detail in my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem. Be sure to check it out and recommend it to anyone you know.

And remember. It’s never too late to start educating yourself.

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Your Self Care Might Just Be Self-Indulgence

Self care seems to be getting a lot more exposure thanks to social media. More people want to improve their lives and grow positively. As a result, it’s “trendy” to focus more on ourselves.

However, there seems to be a trend lately to confuse self care with self-indulgence and selfishness. Yes, we’re focusing more on ourselves. That’s great. What isn’t great is taking it so far that we forget to be considerate of others.

So, what are some examples of “self care” that aren’t self care at all? Let’s dig right into it!

Flaking Out, Then Playing the Victim

We all know this person. They are never on time for anything. We can tell them weeks in advance. They can get multiple reminders the week leading up to the event. And they will still either fail to show up or arrive extremely late.

Then, when questioned, they lash out. They blame you for being unfair to them. You’re “expecting too much of them” by wanting your time to be respected. So, you end up feeling bad for being so “needy.”

Stop doing that.

First, this is prime example of self-indulgence. You are putting your wants ahead of being considerate. Second, people have the right to hold you accountable for being inconsiderate.

Yes, some of us suffer from anxiety, depression, you name it. You should still work to treat people fairly and with respect.

Going Out So Much You Forget About Yourself

On the other hand, we have the individual who goes out too much. Every night they can be found at the club/bar/movies having a good time.

It’s important to have a good time. We need to let loose more often in my opinion. The issue is that it often comes into conflict with self care. We forget to pay bills because we partied too hard the night before. Gym visits become less frequent. We may even start performing poorly at work.

When this happens, it’s time to take a step back. Are you avoiding something? Is there a stressor at home, for instance, you don’t want to deal with? For some, it’s a bill they’re stressing over. Others are avoiding a roommate.

Figure out what it is that compels you to go out so frequently. Then, properly address it.

Living Beyond Your Means in the Name of “Treating Yourself”

Speaking of partying too much, do you have a budget? If not, maybe it’s time to start one.

Society convinces us that the “good life” involves needless shopping. In return, we end up overspending and digging ourselves into debt.

We think, “Well, life’s already hard. What’s the point in moderation?”

Then, we end up buying that pricey, new video game. We go out to eat more often than we can afford. The credit car gets maxed out more often. And pretty soon, we’re back where we started. It’s a never-ending cycle.

We don’t practice moderation enough.

It’s possible to still purchase that new video game when you can afford it. You don’t have to suffer under a mountain of credit card debt. You simply have to live within your means.

Staying up All Night Watching TV

I’m the biggest culprit when it comes to staying up too late. There’s not enough hours in the day, right? You get off work, and the last thing you want to do is call it a night. It means you’ll just have to wake up and go straight back to work.

Depressing, right?

The problem is I end up feeling exhausted and miserable the next day. Then, the weekend arrives, and I spend most of it catching up on the sleep I’ve missed.

I don’t even get to enjoy my weekend because I’ve spent so much of it recharging. Then, it’s time to go back to work on Monday. What did I solve?

No matter what, getting a full night’s rest is important. Yes, we have a finite number of hours in our day. Absolutely, work can get tiresome some days. But we only have so much energy too. It’s important that we conserve it.

Overeating Comfort Food

Here’s another one that gets me. Have you ever reached a point in your diet where you’re just…over it? Okay, nearly every diet ends up this way. We get on the scale after a week, notice we haven’t lost any weight, and give up.

What’s the point? I put in all this work, and I get nothing? Might as well eat what I want, when I want. At least it’ll taste good.

And yes, it certainly does, but we still didn’t feel good. We don’t feel like we’re taking care of ourselves or making a positive change.

The occasional brownie won’t set you back light years, but eating an entire tray won’t get you to your health goal. You have to keep your destination in mind.

Extreme Dieting

On the other end of the healthy eating spectrum, we have extreme or “fad” diets. These promise to get you to lose 50 pounds in 14 days. Super easy and exactly what we need, right? Wrong. This is not only unhealthy but also unsafe.

Proper weight loss involves a gradual journey. Unfortunately, we’re no longer designed to wait. We want results to show up the next day. However, patience is just as important as moderation in this case.

It’s so tempting to try that fad diet and lose that weight as soon as possible. But if the healthy mindset and eating habits aren’t in place, it’s going to be a waste of time.

Living to be the Center of Attention

You’ve got to make everything about you. A conversation is boring or pointless unless it’s about you at some point. Your situation is more important than anyone else’s.

And you probably don’t even realize you do it.

These traits don’t inherently make you a bad person. We all want to be seen as special and important at some point. The problem is when we try to cover up our insecurities and low self-worth by being self-centered.

We want all the attention because we feel without it we’ll fade into obscurity. People will abandon us. We’ll never find true love. You get the picture. As a result, we believe we’ll be doomed to a miserable existence.

We’re wrong, of course.

You don’t have to be the center of attention in order to feel good about yourself. Address what it is you’re insecure about, and the need for attention will lessen with time.

Trying to Do This All On Your Own

People let me down a lot in my life. As a result, I felt I had to do everything myself.

The problem is this only put more on my shoulders than I could handle. Yes, I’d love the fact that I didn’t have to rely on others. But in the end, so much more could have been accomplished had I asked for help.

It goes back to not being afraid to hold people accountable. You are not required to carry large physical, emotional, or mental workloads on your own.

Speak up. Let people know when they’ve let you down and how. Don’t be afraid to tell others you’ve got too much on your plate. It’s okay to have limits. Don’t wait until you’re buried under it all to raise your hand. Someone might not see you at first.

Checking Your Self-Worth

It all starts with self-worth. If your self-esteem isn’t in order, it’s hard to keep yourself on track. I highly recommend reading my book, Life After Low Self-Esteem, for more guidance.

Practice self care, not self-indulgence.

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10 Examples of Self Care You Can Start Right Now

Yeah, we have examples of self care thrown at us almost daily. We just don’t seem to have time for it. Self-improvement seems daunting and time-consuming at first. And you’re not wrong. It’s not a quick or easy process, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

We have busy, demanding lives. Where do we even begin? What do we need to bring with us? How long is it all going to take?

The most difficult part of any journey involves taking the first step. Once we set ourselves in motion, we know we’re expected to commit to our chosen path. Thankfully, it doesn’t take much to get started.

Now let’s make the starting point a lot more accessible, shall we?

A Few Easy Things

  1. Compliment something about someone.
  2. Donate to a charity, no matter what size the donation is.
  3. Give away old clothes.
  4. Create a budget.
  5. Do something nice for someone that they’ll never know about.
  6. Rearrange your furniture.
  7. Attend a Meetup and speak to everyone there.
  8. Pick one thing you’ve been procrastinating about and get it done today.
  9. Write down at least 50 things you’re grateful about.
  10. Learn how to cook something new.
  11. Send someone a care package for literally no reason.
  12. Make encouraging post-its and place them on your mirror.

Make Encouragement Contagious

We don’t encourage each other enough. As a result, we fail to uplift those around us sufficiently. And as humans, we already have a negativity bias.

So, I can’t stress this enough. Spread encouragement like you’re trying to sell Herbalife. Believe you can make a difference, and you will. Sure, it won’t be readily apparent, but change takes time. And the more gradual the change, the harder it will be for things to backslide.

If you believe in something enough, it will often catch on without you realizing it. We take on a certain demeanor, a certain rhythm when we choose self-improvment.

Suddenly, people want to know what makes us tick. What is it about us lately? Why are we so happy (even if we’re not at the moment)?

The Wisdom in Being Grateful

Need more examples of self care? I wrote a book about self-improvement titled Life After Low Self-Esteem. In it, I mention writing down 50 things you’re grateful for. Why 50?

Many of us don’t even think we have that much to be thankful for, but try it anyway. You’ll more than likely surprise yourself. There are also sheets here you can reference for self-improvement as well.

Just remember. Take that first step, and the rest will follow.

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I Quit My Job During COVID-19. I Regret Nothing

You can take all the sick days you want. It won’t matter if you don’t have peace of mind. That’s what I learned during this COVID-19 crisis.

I am a person who is driven and likes to succeed. No matter what new role I fall into, I usually end up in a leadership position at some point. I take on challenges, and most of the time I conquer them.

This was not one of those times, but I still made it.

What Was My Job?

I was a claims adjuster for a major auto insurance carrier. It’s a tough job, one that isn’t for everybody. However, true to my personality, I was determined. I thought determination would be enough.

Basically, imagine running a marathon every day while people shoot projectiles at you. That’s how my work day usually went. I’d leave with a mountain of claims only to return with even more.

It became increasingly discouraging, but I was told it was just the nature of the job. So, I stuck with it. I wasn’t going to give up. That was never the plan.

When I Knew It Was More Than Stress

When I began to wake up and have panic attacks, I began to reconsider the role. Pretty soon, I was only getting up to 4 hours of sleep at night. I was drinking heavily. And the claims only seemed to get more complex and more demanding.

I take antidepressants, but they seemed to have no effect in regulating my mood. I would get nauseated just after taking them. In the middle of obtaining a recorded statement, I had to excuse myself to vomit in the restroom.

I knew then that it wasn’t just stress. It was the job itself.

When I Knew It Was Time to Leave

To this day, I still can’t completely explain what came over me. I got up, got dressed, and sat down at my workstation in my living room like always. We had been working from home for about a month at this point.

I turned on my laptop, said good morning to my co-workers via Skype, and I paused.

Then, I started typing out my resignation letter and packing up my workstation. Before I knew it, I’d turned everything into our branch office and was without a job. I felt the most free I’d felt in a long time.

And I was terrified.

There Can Be Courage in Walking Away

I didn’t know what to think when I returned home jobless during the COVID-19 crisis. Then, I began to panic again. What had I done? How would I take care of myself? What would become of me?

But then I had to remind myself that I was driven, ambitious, and determined. Most companies had paused hiring, but there were still plenty that hadn’t. I applied for jobs vigorously until landed something a month later.

I was able to spend the interim catching up on sleep, focusing on self-care, and planning my next move. It was the most restful time of my entire life.

I write all this to say I don’t condone just quitting your job without a plan like I did. But I also understand those who do so in order to protect their mental health. Society expects us to be overworked, underpaid, and in perfect health at all times.

I don’t regret walking away from what I thought was an amazing opportunity. Panic attacks are no longer part of my morning routine, and I plan to keep it that way. I don’t feel shame for quitting a job during the COVID-19 crisis.

And I don’t regret choosing myself.

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In Case You’re Forgetting to Choose Yourself Today

You forgot to choose yourself again, didn’t you? Don’t fret. We all do it, no matter how tough we think we are. There comes a time where we need to re-calibrate and try again.

We can’t always get it right, but we can always strive for optimal growth. Let’s shift ourselves back into our center.

Some Friendly Reminders

  1. It’s okay to NOT be okay.
  2. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
  3. Do correct your mistakes when you’re wrong. It’s okay to be wrong.
  4. If you don’t feel supported by your friends tell them! Communicate.
  5. Your CAN achieve your goals, even if they’re far off.
  6. You deserve to see the beauty in everything without failing to see your own.
  7. Find ways to get excited, to replenish yourself, and to seek new challenges.
  8. Prioritize yourself and your needs without guilt.

We Forget Self-Care Because Our Culture Tells Us To

We work jobs where we’re penalized for taking sick days. Calling in induces panic and terror. We stress over the fact that our grief period for a loved one may exceed a week.

As a result, we become afraid of being human.

Despite contrary stimuli, you still deserve to take care of yourself. Don’t allow society to convince you otherwise. You’re not weak or needy because you need more time. Hell, we ALL need more time. You’re just the first to realize it.

Sometimes, We Don’t Think We’re Worthy

We get in a slump sometimes. We don’t believe we deserve to be happy. This can last one day or several months. It happens, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

If you can’t choose yourself because you feel unworthy, I recommend reading my book about self-esteem. These feelings can be overcome with practice and patience.

Just don’t forget that you deserve all the best in life, no matter what you feel today.