Antidepressants don’t work for everyone. Some people prefer a more natural approach to mental health. Others simply don’t see the benefit in taking medication.

Is it possible to find a balance between antidepressants and long-term mental health? Can we do without them entirely? What if we don’t know where to start when it comes to medication?

I am joined by Jacquie Norton as we talk about our experiences with antidepressants. We also discuss how using them affects our lives.

Jacquie Norton  01:26

He’s three and a half. And I never I love my children. Don’t get me wrong. But when you’re under that depression and anxiety, and all of that darkness, it’s a different kind of love. It’s more like survival. And this was like, just an explosion of my heart. And it brought tears to my eyes. And each day I get that feeling again and again. And I never had that before. So if anything, I kicked my butt for not doing it sooner.

Dimitrius  01:57

Sometimes it feels like antidepressants don’t work, especially when you first start taking them. It seems like it does more harm than good. I know it did for me, I was nauseated all the time could barely eat slept a lot. It was very overwhelming at first opinions on whether antidepressants make a difference or not, can be a little polarizing, especially with the advent of more natural and holistic approaches.

Dimitrius  02:23

However, while I can’t speak for everyone, I can certainly say it helped me out in the long run. And I still use them today. In fact, I think I mentioned sharing that sentiment with a rather confused Starbucks barista in the preview for this podcast, I have zero shame and whether you choose to use them or not. You shouldn’t have any shame either. But today, we’re not really going to focus on whether or not antidepressants work.

Dimitrius  02:48

To be honest, I’m definitely not qualified to get into all that anyway. Instead, I’m joined today by Jackie Norton, who also has extensive experience with antidepressants. Now, just a reminder, neither of us are medical experts. And this is just going to be a general discussion. Please don’t take any of this as medical advice. And with that, let’s get into it.

Dimitrius  03:11

Welcome to the Dimitrius show, where I learned how to walk through my shadows, picking the flowers I’ve grown through sheer resilience. And I may not know enough yet to start teaching, but I’m going to keep convincing you to keep pushing. I’m Dimitrius and this is my life after speaking.

Dimitrius  03:41

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, antidepressants work by aiming to increase the availability of chemical messengers, also known as neurotransmitters such as serotonin depression, for instance, is usually caused by an imbalance of chemical messengers and antidepressants work to remedy that various ways depending on the particular brand used.

Dimitrius  04:06

Of course, when taking antidepressants, there will likely be side effects such as dry mouth, headaches, dizziness and sexual problems. Whether or not a person will have the side effects will depend on the type of drug, the dosage and whether or not they have just started taking it or have been taking it for some time.

Dimitrius  04:24

So when I initially researched all of that, I was terrified. I didn’t want anything to do with antidepressants. I was like girl, I don’t know, I’m already kind of throw it off right now. This might just make it worse, but in the end, I was able to comfortably acclimate to using it. However, of course, mileage may vary for the individual and that’s okay.

Dimitrius  04:45

And that’s why it’s important to discuss how we interact with antidepressants from a place of compassion, and understanding not judgment and shame. Which is why I invited Jackie Norton to talk about her experiences. Jackie is not afraid to be open and honest This, and I truly felt like she would be the best person to talk to about this. So let’s bring her on.

Jacquie Norton  05:05

Yes, I am 37 years old. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I am a stay at home mom. I used to do hair. I just moved here from Los Angeles, California. And I have a podcast as well.

Dimitrius  05:21

What’s the name of that podcast?

Jacquie Norton  05:22

It is the Mama Jac. And it just real raw parenting stuff. That’s what, that’s what we talked about on there.

Dimitrius  05:29

You said you moved from Los Angeles to Atlanta, what’s that been like for you?

Jacquie Norton  05:34

You know, it’s actually not as much of an adjustment as I thought it would be. The only thing I have to say is I totally missed the food in LA, like, and the beach, beach and food. Other than that, like I’m loving, because I live like 20 minutes outside of the city of Atlanta. I’m actually in Sandy Springs.

Jacquie Norton  05:54

And it’s like, I’m close enough to the city that I could go there when I want because I am a city girl. But I’m live in the forest. And I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. So it’s nice to have that but not have the like crazy winter. So I’m actually loving it down here, which I never would have thought I would ever say in my life. Like, if you were to ask me 10 years ago, I would have been like, hell no, my I never go to Atlanta, you know. I’m liking it a lot. I am

Dimitrius  06:25

Awesome. So you mentioned that you kind of live in a forested area. And I think that’s good that you get kind of an escape from the city a little bit does some wonders for us. I like to go to their trails nearby me. I’m in DFW Dallas Fort Worth.

Dimitrius  06:41

And it’s nice to kind of get that feeling but also know that you’re not too far removed from civilization like that. You can still escape backwards, I guess. Yes. And retreat back into your your little. My little apartment, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Well, today, we’re getting into the conversation of antidepressants.

Dimitrius  07:03

And it is one of those subjects where you’re we’re kind of at the cusp of where people are pushing forward a more holistic approach to mental health. And there’s also so where you have that little balancing act going on right now, where you have those that, you know, look at antidepressant says, You know what, I need these? Absolutely, I’m one of those people, and you have those who are like, Absolutely not never going to do it. You shouldn’t do it type of situation. And so can you share what were when you were first advised to start taking antidepressants?

Jacquie Norton  07:38

Okay, so I was in an almost fatal car accident when I was 18 years old, and I had normal PTSD afterwards, and then everything faded, and it was all fine and glorious. When I was in my early 20s, probably like 23 or 24, I started getting random panic attacks, like random, what I thought was random.

Jacquie Norton  08:03

And so I went to see somebody because depression anxiety runs in my family and I didn’t know you know, that would be happening while they diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety and depression. And oh my god, was it like a thing with at first i, they put me on Wellbutrin, and that like crazy, like literally made me have like 10 panic attacks a day. And then they put me on Prozac because I also have PMDD.

Jacquie Norton  08:34

So they were like, Oh, just take it, you know, a couple days before. Well, that made me like crazy as well. And when I say crazy, I mean like panic attacks, depression, like it almost did the exact opposite of what it should. And so I found they finally put me on Zoloft. And I had, I think at the time, Ativan for panic attacks. So I was on and my whole family was on Zoloft. I was on Zoloft for about maybe three or four years, and it made me gain 30 pounds.

Jacquie Norton  09:09

And when I tell you, I worked out every single day, no joke seven days a week, I could not take off that weight. And I was feeling good. I was getting married. So I decided you know what, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt horrible. I’ve been working out a lot I understand that can help with depression and anxiety too. So I went off of it and it was great. Like I had, I think they switched me from Ativan to Xanax, and that was strictly for panic attacks, but I didn’t even I would end up having to like the bottle would expire before I used everything in it.

Jacquie Norton  09:45

Well put it to you that way. So like me working out and everything was working and it was great and eating healthy and that was amazing. Now, I carried that lifestyle until my 30s and I got Pregnant. And that changed everything. I had horrible postpartum depression with my first. I was pumping with him and they I know Zoloft was safe. But I didn’t want to go back on Zoloft because it made me gain weight.

Jacquie Norton  10:14

And it made me feel like a zombie. I left that part out. I felt like I didn’t have highs or lows on the law. So I didn’t want to go back on that. I had every therapist, I was going to see therapists and trying to pull myself out of this with exercise with talking to people with meditation, I’ve done it all. I’ve done it all. I actually learned mindfulness meditation through a PTSD like group thing that I used to go to.

Jacquie Norton  10:44

And it worked for me for a while. But I mean, those hormones, man, they’re, they’re wicked. And so after my son, it was like two years, and I was still up and down, up and down, you know, no sex drive at all, like nothing. Like I was like, What the hell like I was even thinking to myself, I was like, am I not attracted to my husband, and I literally, and I told him this before, I would imagine myself like with other men, and it just disgusts me like it ever. All of it just was disgusting to me at the time.

Jacquie Norton  11:15

And I’m like, Well, that isn’t me. Like, that’s weird. Plus, I just couldn’t stay happy. I would have happy moments. Most of my life was dark. I got pregnant again. So of course, we’re dealing with the whole I don’t really want to be on anything. When I’m pregnant. I know it’s hormones, I can handle it. My husband was traveling a lot. And I didn’t have a lot of support. And it was really hard. Now I had that baby.

Jacquie Norton  11:42

And I thought everything had lifted. And I was like, Oh my God, she’s my twin flame. I feel so good. So I did not have baby blues with her. I had them with my first though. And then all of a sudden, like, boom, it hit me like a brick wall. I would have days where I was super happy. And everything was fine. And then days were literally I was self harming. I was, you know, thinking, like, I was resentful towards my kids that they were here because it would be easier for me not to be here.

Jacquie Norton  12:17

So clearly, I needed help. And at this time, I’m working out, I’m meditating, I’m taking time for myself. The only thing I could not do was leave, you know, taking time for myself meant like a bath, being in the room and watching a movie while my husband watched the kids maybe like, that’s what it looked like. So something happened, my son got sick. And I just snapped. Like, I literally broke, I couldn’t do anything. I was afraid of my children.

Jacquie Norton  12:46

Like they would come close to me. And I would jump. That’s how like afraid of them. I was it was so crazy. I ended up having a mental breakdown. I pretty much had a panic attack that lasted five days. And my psychologist was like, okay, Jackie, well, you have a couple of choices. You can go to intake, you can go to the hospital, or you can find a psychiatrist right away.

Jacquie Norton  13:08

Because clearly we have all the tools and they’re not working anymore. She’s like, I’m not going to force you to be on anything. But at this point, I would suggest I think you need a little more help. So I found a psychiatrist. And immediately she put me on kulana pin and Celexa and, you know, went through the first coat, I mean being on colonic pin. I was on it two times a day.

Jacquie Norton  13:32

And then Celexa. It was like totally calmed me down. Right. But I was still you know, I don’t think the Celexa had kicked in until like, maybe a month afterwards. And I actually had to go up and up on it. So finally, like, I’m more level headed now. And it is something like that did not come easy. I mean, I fought I fought to not be on medication. And I don’t even know why.

Jacquie Norton  13:58

Because I’m the type of person that’s like, do it like you should, if you need that tool, absolutely. Do it. Like if you want to be off of it. It’s like for me, I look at it as it doesn’t have to be permanent. Right? Like, maybe you need it for a time and you can figure out the tools and then you can go on and go off of it. And then maybe you have to go back on it. No big deal. But I fought about medication for a long time, mostly because I was breastfeeding and I didn’t want the Zoloft though.

Jacquie Norton  14:29

So finally they were like, Okay, you’re breastfeeding. Like, I wasn’t breastfeeding. I was pumping you’re pumping journey needs to end because you’re on Kalani pin now and it calmed by as sound and I have so many regrets not doing it sooner for myself. Okay, I haven’t felt this good. Don’t get me wrong. I still have my downtime. I’m still healing from my mental breakdown. I have moments now.

Jacquie Norton  14:58

But it’s good with Moments of anxiety with moments of depression, yes, moments of that kind of stuff, which is normal, right? That’s what we’re all striving for. And I have the tools to calm myself down. And with the combo of the medicine, it works now, yes. So it’s been magical for me, I’m not gonna lie to you like, it’s been my best friend, this one, I haven’t gained weight.

Jacquie Norton  15:23

If anything, I’ve lost weight, I feel like I can be myself again, like, I feel. It’s such a relief. It’s such a relief. And I just remember having this moment where my son came in, and he said something funny, you know, and my heart just lit up. And I laugh. And it was a different feeling than I ever felt before. And I just thought to myself, I was like, This is what the love of a parent is meant to feel like.

Jacquie Norton  15:51

And I felt so guilty, because I was like, He’s three and a half. And I never, I love my children, don’t get me wrong. But when you’re under that depression and anxiety, and all of that darkness, it’s a different kind of love. It’s more like survival. And this was like, just an explosion of my heart. And it brought tears to my eyes. And each day, I get that feeling again, and again. And I never had that before. So if anything, I kicked my butt for not doing it sooner, worse.

Dimitrius  16:25

And you write about how depression and anxiety can kind of take you from, you know, where you can’t sort of rationalize it the way that you want to rationalize things. And it takes kind of having to come back into yourself some kind of way right to where you can then make those rational rationalizations and see things for what they are, you know, I went through my own episode a few years ago, when the pandemic first hit, where, of course, you’re you go from one day, you’re not wearing a mask, and you can walk into a grocery store.

Dimitrius  16:58

And it’s just like every other day, then the next day, everything shut down. There’s nothing on the shelves, everyone’s got on a mask. And it just seems like the world’s ending. And I was then told you have to work from home permanently. And I don’t like to work from home, I like to be in office, I like to have separation. And so going from that sudden shift. That was when I had my nervous breakdown.

Dimitrius  17:19

And I remember I woke up one day, and just similar to you, I had stopped taking medication because I was doing good at the time. And it was just like I woke up that day I did everything that I normally do. I picked up Starbucks and brought it back home. You know, I remember I sent out an email. And I said good morning to my peers on the chat that we have for work. And I got an instant message about something something kind of innocuous dealing with whatever it is that I needed to do.

Dimitrius  17:47

And I don’t know what I to this day, I still do not know what it was. That just triggered me. And it was like I blinked and I was sending my resignation blinked again, shutting the laptop blinked. Again, I’m heading out the door because I’m turning my stuff in. I can’t do it anymore. You know. And looking back, I wish that you know, I had everything that I needed in place in order to deal with that.

Dimitrius  18:12

Now, some of that, I mean, unprecedented times, right? We weren’t expecting anything like that to happen. Nobody was. So you kind of have to give yourself some grace. But once I was able to kind of land or I needed some land and everything, and I got back on the medication, similar to how you were saying how it just made you gain weight, same thing. I was just like, how is it that I’m constantly and I’m pretty active person likes to go running.

Dimitrius  18:37

And one of the few people I know, in the vicinity that likes to run, you know, I just I like to go out and I like to walk I like to just do things. So that was when I was just kind of like okay, well, I had a nervous breakdown when I wasn’t medicated. And I’m gaining weight, and I don’t feel good about myself still on medication. So I went off it again had another breakdown, or two or three again.

Dimitrius  19:03

And that was when I realized that you know, there has to be some sort of balance. So all of this, there has to be a way where I can get what I need for medication because for me, I do need it. I don’t want to, you know, go any alternative routes right now, because I don’t feel like that’s working. Right now. In this instance, I want to find a balance so that I can get to like you were kind of mentioning where you can get to where the panic attacks aren’t every day, the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness isn’t every single day and where I can at least function until I get to a point where okay, maybe I can try other things.

Dimitrius  19:42

But you know, this is where you have to kind of be to ground yourself so that if those things don’t work out, it’s not just you’re wandering around you don’t know what to do with yourself or with anything that you’re going through. So definitely that was kind of my journey into realizing that you know what I do need to probably be on the come on under Effects or spill, and working out the dosage, I’ve now gotten to where I take it as needed.

Dimitrius  20:07

But just knowing that it works for me, and it doesn’t cause me to put on all this weight makes me sweat all the time when I’m sleeping, but it doesn’t make me you know, where if I am eating right, and I’m exercising the scale is just not even trying to budge. And I don’t feel like I’m completely just out of it all the time. I do feel a lot more calm when I take it.

Dimitrius  20:29

But it’s not so much that I feel as though without it, I simply will never be able to function. But at the same time, I know that that is there in case you do reach that point where you need some additional assistance. And so that’s kind of what I that’s the conversation I try to have with people that are very hesitant to take it because I was like that too. I was where I was like, I don’t want to be on medication. I just want to figure this out and just go to therapy and blah, blah.

Dimitrius  20:59

Well, the first therapy session I went to where I even mentioned that he was like No taking meds. And so I was like, okay, so I took them. And yeah, that first week, I was just like, What is this nausea every day, every day, all day. And just yeah, the first week that I was ever on meds, it was kind of like, I don’t know how to really describe it. It’s like everything at first was on tin, and then it eventually just completely calmed down and all I wanted to do sleep. And then it was like, Okay, I think we got this now.

Dimitrius  21:32

And I people go through those experiences. Everyone’s different, how they react to antidepressants. They go through, like, you know, like we’ve mentioned those trial and error things in the beginning. And they’re like, nope, not for me not taking it not fooling with it. But sometimes you kind of your body has to adjust and have time to figure out what is going to work for you, and how you’re gonna have to make adjustments outside of that.

Dimitrius  21:59

I mean, I got to wear change. When I eat when I eat, I had to change when I had to drink more water, I had to drink more water, I had to stop eating certain things. Because if I ate them, and I took my medication, I’m just gonna be nauseated for the rest of the day.

Dimitrius  22:13

And a lot of those things were honestly things that weren’t good for me anyway. So it was kind of like, okay, well, that makes sense. Yeah, just like we were mentioning it, it takes an adjustment period. And I think people don’t allow that to happen. I think they want to get on the medication. And for it to work instantly. And when it doesn’t, because it’s not going to they are like Nope, it’s a scam.

Dimitrius  22:38

Take me off all these meds. No more this, I’m going to just, you know, figure it out. And while I do believe that there are alternative methods that will work, I don’t believe that we need to just completely forego any sort of medication that’s prescribed to people.

Jacquie Norton  22:53

No, I, I agree with you. And I you know what, sometimes alternative stuff works. And sometimes it doesn’t like it’s a proven fact that it’s a chemical, it can be a chemical thing in your body like so. And the interesting thing my psychiatrist actually told me, she said, Okay, let’s put you on Celexa.

Jacquie Norton  23:13

And that’s it for now. Let’s see how it works. Okay. But there’s actually a genetic test now that they can, you know, you get this test done, and it shows markers for what medications will work for you and what won’t. So there are ways to surpass like, hopefully taking, you know, like how I had to do the Wellbutrin. And then I had to do you know, Prozac, and then I had to do you know, all that crap, or Zoloft.

Jacquie Norton  23:43

So it’s, and that, to me is frickin awesome. Like, that’s awesome. Like, give me a genetic test and tell me what I need to take to feel better. Yeah, like, let’s not go through all this craziness. I was in such a state of panic that they gave me colonic pin. So I literally was like, as high as zombie for like a solid two weeks until my body got used to it.

Jacquie Norton  24:08

And now I still take it honestly, because I have to be completely honest with you. I have two toddlers and they drive me insane. And that makes with trauma and postpartum depression. The biggest issue with postpartum depression is when you lose control. Not sorry, not postpartum depression. The biggest issue with PTSD is losing control. Okay, that’s normally when people freak out that have PTSD, and you cannot control kids.

Jacquie Norton  24:39

So I was constantly being triggered. And I you know, I just actually had an appointment with my psychiatrists today and I thought I would be able to start to wean myself off of the colada pin and I told her I was like, you know, I really wanted to come to you today and tell me like, tell you like it’s time to go off of it, but I don’t think I can Yeah, like, I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, I’ve needed to take a little more like, she gave me a window, like, I take two a day, but I can take half in the middle of the day, if I’m like, really having a day, you know.

Jacquie Norton  25:13

And I mean, it’s intense, like, for me to have to take that. And like, like I said, it’s intense, because I’m a meditator. I’m a like, spiritual person, give it to your, you know, whoever you believe in, like, I’m all of those things. And I’ve tried all of those things. So, yeah, it really took some humbling. And honestly, I got scared, like, I’m a mom, I was afraid of my children, you know, like, holy crap, how the hell was that going to work like that get no.

Jacquie Norton  25:47

So, and it horrified me like it, or it broke my heart to pieces. And it just made me feel bad for my husband. And in some ways respect him because I, I was not myself for many years. And he supported me, and he was there for me. And I’m very fortunate to have somebody like that on my side, because I know a lot of people don’t, and he could have easily given up on me.

Jacquie Norton  26:17

And I don’t know, if I would have been able to, you know, return the favor, like, as truthful as that is, as sad as that sounds, probably because of my mental stability, you know, but, and that sounds messed up. But it’s true. He, I, I put him through a lot, you know,

Dimitrius  26:34

Well, I’m thankful that he has been a sort, that he’s been a pillar for all of you that, you know, that speaks volumes to his character, and what he’s able to do for your family, I work with kids for 10 years. And I’m gonna tell you, you know, I work with all ages, all backgrounds, all neighborhoods, you name it, it’s just tough, it’s tough. Even the most well behaved children can still drive you insane, they can be exhausting. I’ll just say it.

Dimitrius  27:04

And it’s not I say exhausting. It’s not that it’s necessarily always a bad thing. It’s just that you want to make sure that you are being a source of safety, and understanding and love and everything like that. And when you’re in you’re at those crucial moments in their life, and you realize how important that is with each and every interaction you have with them. And so yeah, you get to a point where you’re like, I don’t know if I can do this.

Dimitrius  27:35

You know, I had, I worked at a foster care facility, and we had a lot of kids with a lot of trauma, teenagers, you name it, it’s a lot of trauma. And there were so many days where, you know, we walked in to that facility, because at that point, we’re pretty much surrogate parents. And we’re, I’m looking and I’m like, this child needs a lot more for me than I am able to give, and a lot more than I’d be able to give if I was like their foster parent.

Dimitrius  28:03

Because it just, there’s just so much that comes with that so much responsibility, that doesn’t end, it never ends, even when they’re old and out of the house. It’s still everything that you do every moment, every single like I mentioned, interaction, it’s so important. And it’s so crucial. And there are times where everybody has that where they you feel like you’re just failing at it, you feel like you are not reaching them, you feel like you just are not understanding what they need, and how to meet those needs.

Dimitrius  28:37

And so I hear you when you say that you’ve had those times where, you know, they frightened you. And you’ve had to, you know, you’ve retreated, and you’ve had to kind of go back and find yourself a little bit. And that’s completely understandable, completely, because it’s hard enough just being a mom on its own, and add to that trauma.

Dimitrius  28:57

And add to that all of the things you were needing to figure out in the midst of all of that, that most people don’t have to figure out it. Yeah, absolutely. that places a huge emotional burden on you. And it’s very difficult to navigate, but you have been able to navigate it. And so kudos to you, and really that I hope that’s an inspiration to others to see that. Yeah, I mean, we all are capable of just completely falling apart and some of us do a lot more than others.

Dimitrius  29:30

And I just, you know, I really advocate people, just knowing where you are accepting where you are with things and yourself. And then from there just moving on to seeing what worked for you, what will get you to that place where you feel the most at balance, you’re not always going to feel 100% at balance, I don’t think anyone does. But the most at balance, and like you mentioned earlier, where they’re the anxious and depressed, it’s moments, it’s not constant and all the time,

Dimitrius  29:30

I do certainly. But there is still a way it may take a whole lot of stumbles and a whole lot of just crashing and burning but there’s still a way to kind of find your way. Maybe not perfectly maybe not the way that you envision it but still being able to manage to come to grips with what it is that you’re struggling with and find a way to find that balance between if you have to take I know I was on 75 milligrams or something 50 milligrams something else at some point. I’m still trying to exercise, drink water doing all that and just micromanaging my entire life it seemed like and other times where you don’t have to be as rigid and have that kind of break.

30:42

it’s good and bad. My husband also works away a lot. I do feel I hate staying like this. But it’s almost like a single mother that’s married. When he’s here, he shows up, he shows up in big ways. But he very often works 14 hour days where he won’t see the kids all week. He’s on something.

Jacquie Norton  31:03

He’s on a show right now where he’s like, six days a week, 14 hours between driving and working. So he literally does not see his children until Sunday. And he’s so exhausted. So I’m just constantly taking over and the burden. It’s like, I realized what I was getting into having kids with somebody that works in the film industry. But you never know until the kids are there. And it’s you and them.

Jacquie Norton  31:31

You know, it’s just now with the medication. They’re my buddies, like, they’re my best friends like my son, with what we went through together. He’s so special to me. And he is literally both of them. They saved my life. And I will say that again. And again. Because if they weren’t here, I wouldn’t have had an excuse to stay. And they literally were the reason when I was having my horrible, horrible moments.

Jacquie Norton  32:03

Or, you know, I would wake up in the morning and cry when I woke up like, I’m here again. Like it was like Groundhog’s Day to me with depression. And just the thought of I can’t do anything about it. Because I have kids and I have a responsibility. And I want to see them grow up and I want you know, I don’t want them to not have a mother like they saved my life before the med saved my life.

Dimitrius  32:29

Very wonderful. Absolutely. How do you feel? So going back to people’s hesitancy with taking antidepressants? How do you feel like our culture kind of informs our relationship with antidepressants?

32:45

I feel like it’s kind of something that’s shoved under the rug a bit, right? Like, people don’t normally like to talk about it. I share openly with every probably too much. And I mean, people were like, Why do you say that I’m like, because there’s always somebody listening that feels like, maybe they shouldn’t, or they’re in between, and you never know when you’re going to help somebody by, you know, being the loudmouth person.

Jacquie Norton  33:15

So I definitely think as a culture, it’s almost, I mean, I hate to say this, but it’s looked at kind of like a weakness, when really, it’s such a strength to get up and do that for yourself, you’re showing up for yourself. And whenever you say that you need help, that is showing up for yourself.

Jacquie Norton  33:38

And that’s beautiful. And a lot of people can’t do that. So they just suffer in silence, which is horrible. Or they’re assholes. And they take it out on everybody else. Right. And so I hate that. I hate that. It’s like that, but I truly do feel like it’s something that’s brushed under the rug. And I wouldn’t say looked down on, but it is still a little taboo to for it to be a normal thing.

Dimitrius  34:06

Yeah, I feel like it’s misunderstood a lot where, like you mentioned where people like if, like, for instance, I know a while back when I was a supervisor, some one of my employees was talking to me, and I just kind of took out my pill bottle and I was you know, like, Oh, I gotta take my medication.

Dimitrius  34:23

And she was like, Oh my gosh, I didn’t know you were on antidepressants. And I’m like, Well, wait a minute, like, I’m good. But I do need to take these so that I remain in the Christmas spirit for y’all. But it’s not where I’m just like, completely gonna fall off the wagon here. i If I don’t take these, you know, and it’s kind of like that day you get some of that sometimes pity from people they’re like, oh my gosh, you know, and especially if you’re open about it, people are like Jackie mentioned, like, why are you you know, talking about that so openly and it’s like because I I want to normalize this.

Dimitrius  34:57

I want people to know that it’s a okay to be open about the pills that you’re taking will within reason, right? That you’re, you’re trying to better yourself and that it’s not you can still, especially in the workplace that you can still function. Yeah. And you can still do what you need to do. And like I was a supervisor of managing 14 People taking effects or, and me talking about that out loud was kind of like you were saying, you want people to hear that, and go, Oh my gosh, he’s like on medication and has depression and anxiety and everything else.

Dimitrius  35:35

And he can still come to work, and you can still do things and accomplish things. And by doing that, that’s why I still do that even today. I will. I’ve been in meetings where, you know, this topic of mental health came up, and I was like, came off mute on the Zoom call. And like, I can talk about this so articulate, and then you know, everyone’s like, Oh, my gosh, she’s like, very open about this.

Dimitrius  35:57

But yeah, I try to use every opportunity that I can, to be honest and open and vulnerable about it. Because you never know who needs to hear it. I’ve said it before, you’ve never know who needs to hear it from you. You never know who needs to see you as a person that they can relate to.

Dimitrius  36:14

And you’re the one that saying, Yeah, I take 75 milligrams, and mostly fall asleep when I get home and all that. But at the same time, I still am able to show up, and I’m still able to make it work. And it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of experimenting, but it’s possible. And I think that’s the main component is just showing people what is possible for them.

Jacquie Norton  36:36

Yeah, I mean, I 100% agree with that. And, you know, I’m a stay at home mom, and I’ll be the first to say if somebody’s ever like, how do you do it? How do you have your shit together? And I just laugh and I’m like, I’m on drugs. Right? Drugs, it’s okay. You just got a doctor and they, they give you what works for you.

Jacquie Norton  37:01

And, like, I am not like, I don’t hold back at all, like, even out. I don’t really drink anyways, but I can’t drink on the medication. I’m on expecially. And people will say like, if they ask, Why are you drinking? Or why can you drink? I’ll be like, I’m on Kalani pen for anxiety, and then they shut up. Right? It’s like, first of all, why are you asking me that? Because that’s not your right. I’m gonna make you just as uncomfortable by telling you the whole truth.

Dimitrius  37:31

Right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Like I mentioned, you know, this is Christmas spirit in a bottle. So let’s Yes, this doesn’t come naturally for me right now. Now moving into, do you feel that we have enough resources surrounding antidepressants? You mentioned earlier, the genetic map? Do you feel that there’s anything else that would help in someone’s journey and exploration of figuring out what antidepressants or medication works for them?

Jacquie Norton  38:02

I mean, they always say, look at your family first, right? Because they say if it works for somebody in your family, it’s normally going to work for you. I would suggest if somebody’s looking for something that works for them, hop to people, I mean, Facebook, you can post anonymously, so anonymously post in a group is anybody on an antidepressant? You know, you can post back anonymously?

Jacquie Norton  38:26

How does it work for you? What did it do for you, but it really like to me, it doesn’t really matter what anybody else is on because You’re your own person. And what’s good for me might not be good for you, but will be great for her and maybe not so well for him, you know what I mean?

Jacquie Norton  38:46

So it’s just like, kind of something that you just got to stick by it. You just have to stick by it and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel when you do find it and you will feel free. Like everything has lifted like oh my God, why didn’t I do this sooner? So if you don’t mind once your mind is back on track, I guess I could say or just not as clouded. I think that sounds better, not as clouded. Then. You won’t mind all the steps you had to go through to get there because it’s so worth it in the end.

Jacquie Norton  39:27

Like it’s really so worth it in the end to just feel you I just feel like a human I feel like a human again. I’m not a shell of myself. I’m not this, like sad soul fighting through every like it was a fight. Everything was a fight. No one I mean, besides, I was very open about it.

Jacquie Norton  39:46

But if you didn’t know me, and you saw me walking down the street with my kids, you would have never known I was depressed and anxious. Like, I’m a happy you know, we’re bright colors like my hair’s crazy color. is like, you’d be like, oh look, she’s giggling with their kids.

Jacquie Norton  40:03

She’s so happy when really I felt like I was dying inside. And like I said, The only regret you’ll have if you’re thinking about going on them is once you find the one that works for you, you’ll be mad. You didn’t do it sooner. That’s the only that I always tell people that like you’re going to be like, how many years months, weeks, whatever did I sit there and ponder this when it’s just such a lifesaver? It literally saves lives.