LGBTQ youth can face an enormous amount of hostility and discrimination. Then, of course, there’s the regular trials and tribulations kids and teenagers face. Though views towards bullying have changed over time, LGBTQ kids are still at risk.

How can we help LGBTQ youth with their mental health needs? How do we provide them with safety and understanding? Are theere enough mental health resources for these youth?

I am joined by Aime Hutton as we discuss her experience working with and mentoring LGBTQ junior high students.

Aime Hutton  01:26

So I know what it’s like to be a young person. And even then, when I was that age, I didn’t know who I was at my core at that point. That’s interesting story as well. So I know what these kids are going through and then add puberty on top of it. Plus trying to figure out their gender identity or their sexual identity, and oh, homework, life, family, like everything all at once that’s just piled on top of each other and say, Here, go to school,

Dimitrius  01:55

it’s hard to be an adult who isn’t heteronormative, let alone a child. Hell, it’s hard to be a child in general nowadays, look at what they have to deal with school shootings, social media, memorializing everything that they do, the constant pressure to be photo ready at any given moment.

Dimitrius  02:15

Add to that trying to figure yourself out in an environment where people are becoming increasingly hostile to your very existence, day by day, especially here in the United States. LGBTQ children exist, whether you want them to or not, and no amount of sheltering or shielding them from the truth will make any difference. In fact, it does more harm than good most of the time.

Dimitrius  02:40

So how can we help these youth and ensure that they have the space to explore their identities, just like they heteronormative counterparts? And are their adults already doing this and succeeding? We’ll find out about that today. So let’s get started.

Dimitrius  02:58

Welcome to the Dimitrius show, where I learned how to walk through my shadows, picking the flowers I’ve grown through sheer resilience. And I may not know enough yet to start teaching, but I’m going to keep convincing you to keep pushing. I’m Dimitrius. And this is my life after speaking.

Dimitrius  03:27

I’ve known I was gay or at least different since I was eight years old. I think that was the first time I got called a faggot. And it was definitely when I started getting teased and bullied all the time, despite the fact that I didn’t do anything, anyone. And it started in second grade and went all the way past my senior year where I was still dealing with this.

Dimitrius  03:50

It’s the reason I struggled with my self worth and had to continually go back and forth to therapy as an adult, to unwind all of those negative feelings about myself, and to finally come into my own as a person. So now I don’t want any LGBTQ child to ever have to experience that to be harassed, bullied, and threatened just for existing.

Dimitrius  04:14

Working with youth. I didn’t really encounter many LGBTQ youth. There weren’t any children who came up to me and said, Mr. D, I’m gay. But keep in mind that this was in West Texas, and later, Dallas, Texas, but still Texas, nonetheless. Look at our governor. It’s not that surprising.

Dimitrius  04:33

And oddly enough, my existence as a feminine gay man had virtually no influence on how these children chose to identify. Sure, they would ask me why I looked like a girl. They’d asked me that all the time. But that was the extent of it because they saw me as an authority figure and a person who provided them safety first and foremost.

Dimitrius  04:55

So just tidbit for those of you who think we can’t exist in the have spaces. I did it for 10 years, which is why I wanted to talk to someone else who not only has experience with you and is LGBTQ like me, but as directly helping LGBTQ youth figure out who they are at a critical time in their life. Her name is Amy Hutton. And let’s see what she has to say.

Aime Hutton  05:20

Yeah, and first of all, thank you, Dimitrius, for having me on your show today. I’m very honored and grateful to be here. And I’m coming to you from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, which is also home to the indigenous people the treaty, seven of Blackfoot nation, and the treaty, the Matey region, Alberta three, and I’m just honored and grateful always to be on their lands and being here today with all of you. So yeah, my name is Amy, my pronouns are she, her, and I do many things in the world and just wondering where you want to start.

Dimitrius  05:56

And that’s so interesting that you are in Canada, I’ve always wondered, because, of course, I’m in Texas, the bottom of the United States. Yes.

Dimitrius  06:04

And I believe I talked to someone before from Australia. So it’s very, very interesting to talk to people on different continents and countries and what have you heard about it? Okay, so your profession now, what is it that you do so during the day,

Aime Hutton  06:17

I wear many hats. So I’ll talk about my day job first, my day job is that I’m a job developer with a company called ethos. And the program I’m in is called ready to rise, where we help women and those who identify as female who live in Alberta or the British Columbia, come back into the workforce, switch jobs, or even get organized to go back to school. And me as the job developer piece, I get to meet with our participants. But then I also get to navigate and network with employers on hoping to have them hire my participants.

Dimitrius  06:54

And what are some of the challenges that you face when you are advocating?

Aime Hutton  06:58

One of the struggles we find and it’s not just myself, it’s my other job developer co partner, both of them in British Columbia, that some of the women that come into our program are from other countries example, India, the Ukraine, like Eastern European region.

Aime Hutton  07:14

And some of our participants have example, beautiful resume beautiful experience in whatever chosen profession in their home country. And then they come to Canada. And it’s a struggle, because they don’t have the Canadian experience to get the job they want. Oh, gosh,

Dimitrius  07:33

Yeah, I never thought of it that way. Okay, so that’s your day job. That’s my day job. And then already sounds like you have a lot going on. And then in addition to that, you also have some more hats.

Aime Hutton  07:46

One hat I wear is that I’m an LGBTQ two s plus youth coach with the age group of the 11 to 14 year olds, and I help them with navigating their own coming out journey, and figuring out who they are. And being okay with who they are. Yes.

Dimitrius  08:07

So 11 to 14, you said what? Yes. Because I don’t know if schools are different from how we do them here, what grade would that be?

Aime Hutton  08:14

Typically, that’s roughly grade four, five, all the way up to maybe grade seven or eight. So your junior, junior high middle school,

Dimitrius  08:26

That’s what I figured. So that’s a very interesting age, that to me is when we are entering pre pubescence. And we’re not alone discovering things about ourself, when, as it pertains to LGBTQ plus, but also just our bodies in general.

Dimitrius  08:43

And so they that is a very, very crucial time to really out provide some sort of outreach program to those youth as they begin to transition into adulthood, especially those years where they’re immediately noticing that from elementary school to junior high, there’s a shift and absolutely, that I’m so glad to hear that you do that, to provide that safety net for them.

Aime Hutton  09:09

Yeah, it’s good. And the reason why like part of my story is growing up between that grade three in grade three, in grade eight, myself, I was actually severely teased and bullied. This is back in the 80s into like, 1991 ish. And like kids back then, like we didn’t call a bullying, it was just called I’m going to pick on you or I’m going to tease you like, you know, it’s part of school life.

Aime Hutton  09:36

Right? Yeah. And I was physically attacked twice by my peers. I was named called verbally, emotionally assaulted will say even daily, daily by my peers. So I know what it’s like to be a young person. And even then, when I was that age, I didn’t know who I was at my core at that point.

Aime Hutton  09:56

That’s interesting story as well. So I know what these kids Kids are going through and then add puberty on top of it, plus trying to figure out their gender identity or their sexual identity, and oh, homework, life, family, like everything all at once. So it’s just piled on top of each other and say here go to school.

Dimitrius  10:16

Right, exactly. And it’s hard to, it’s harder for you and myself to figure out or even come close to finding the time to figure out what our identity is, when we are again being pretty much assaulted, or just existing every single day.

Dimitrius  10:31

After a while it I imagine. It takes its toll, it took its toll on me. And when Luckily, I was I was very stubborn, and I was able to still be like, No, I want to figure this out. But it’s not the same for everyone. And some people do need, they get lost, and they, which isn’t a bad thing, but they absolutely need that assistance. They need someone to kind of be a mentor and say, Okay, let me provide you a way to just give you the space to figure some things out. Yeah,

Aime Hutton  11:02

I do a lot of listening, like, you know, I have different packages. But the one that is, you know, I would say the most popular or the most well liked is that I would meet with the young person every week through zoom actually, like I do it virtually. And we meet for about 45 minutes to an hour. And a lot of it is just me listening and asking a few questions, and then letting them talk.

Dimitrius  11:26

And how did those sessions, I’m sorry, how did those sessions typically, if you feel any success stories that come from those interactions?

Aime Hutton  11:34

Yeah, so I’m thinking of a couple of different things. I’ve done other work before in the past, and with kids, girls in general, before I knew who I was at my core, so it’s kind of interesting turn of events in life and everything. But I was working with a young girl, and it was in person at her school, so like an after school program at this point.

Aime Hutton  11:53

And she I was asking her, and I still do this today with the youth I work with today. I asked them to draw preferably with crayons if they can if they can, I ask them to draw a thought that’s in their mind. So what are they thinking about? A feeling in their body? Like is their stomach crampy or their is their foot sore? Something move on their body?

Aime Hutton  12:15

And the third thing I ask is what’s a feeling you have in your heart, and that one sometimes is most tricky. And I remember this young girl she drew like to stick figures on one side of the paper. And on the the other side, there was just a one stick figure person. And she put the crayon down and she started to cry. And I was like, Okay, let’s take a breath, both of us together, because I don’t know what’s going on.

Aime Hutton  12:39

And she looked up at me and she’s like, these are my two friends over here. And this is me all by myself. And I don’t know if we’re friends still, right. And she this young girl was in grade five. And it was you know, okay, let’s talk about this. That’s, you know, tell me more like can we weren’t situation and this, talk with me about it. And whatever I said worked. Because of the end of our session, she was happy and smiling and wanting more.

Aime Hutton  13:05

And I’ll just remember this young with this young girl in particular dad came to pick her up one day after our session at the school. And he said to me, it was like week three. And he said to me, What have you done to my daughter, she’s different. She’s coming out of her shell more, she’s interacting with the family more. So that would be a success story there. And then, you know, I have more recently, a young girl I was supporting.

Aime Hutton  13:31

And she again was talking about friends and friendship and different things. And all I did, I listened a lot, I just held space. But she felt a lot more comfortable, more confident as we went on. And that was just a couple of years ago and through zoom through COVID. And the mum again came to me, the mum and I are actually friends. She lives about three hours away in the province here a city called Edmonton.

Aime Hutton  13:55

And she was like, wow, my daughter has changed, like she’s noticed some differences in her for the better. And so parents see a shift in their child within the first little bit. And then it just grows from there. And they’re, it’s amazing to see the children, the youth kind of like blossom open.

Aime Hutton  14:14

It takes a few weeks sometimes to get them to open up but they do eventually. And you know, on top of me being a coach, I also have training in a few different areas. I did take three courses in mental health and suicide prevention. And one of them I took was specifically for youth like me as the adult, if a youth comes to you and is showing signs or talking about things or whatever.

Aime Hutton  14:42

And the one thing that really stuck out in my mind during this workshop course that I took of prevention of suicide for youth is that children choose their safe person to talk to yes they do. And then me as that caring adult, all I do is steer them to safety. Hmm.

Aime Hutton  15:00

And you know, I do have boundaries, obviously, when I’m working with youth over zoom or is, you know, when if they if this possibility inkling of maybe they’re looking at harming themselves or you know having suicidal ideations I do let them know that I have to go talk to somebody else that I have to get help for me to help you, who do you want me to talk to, it could be another teacher, it could be a teacher could be another family member, like an aunt or an uncle, or a grandparent doesn’t have to be the mom and dad. But it has to be somebody else that they trust that I can go to.

Dimitrius  15:40

Okay. And that’s so that’s important. And that takes a lot of mental and emotional fortitude as well, yeah, should be able to provide that not only safety, but to set those boundaries, like you mentioned, so that they know that, yes, you’re a safe place, but also, that that safety comes with some some additional elements to it, in order to keep them out of harm’s way. Absolutely.

Aime Hutton  16:09

And it’s really interesting to see and, you know, as I said, the different packages I can, I’d like meeting weekly, because then I can see the changes happened. The other option I have is if the parents or the caring adults wants me to be weekly with them.

Aime Hutton  16:23

I can but then I also have an add on where parents can decide that, oh, my child wants to be beneficial for them to text with me through an app called Voxer, which is a encrypted, safe phone to phone messaging system that they can reach out to me during the day, one day a week, if something is going on to the to talk about, like right now, right kind of thing, again, with the boundaries of I can really only talk to you between this time and this time, like, you know, having those parameters in place, but it’s that extra bit of a safety net if something is happening, and they’re like, oh, I need help.

Dimitrius  17:06

Course, of course,

Aime Hutton  17:07

On a certain day, yeah.

Dimitrius  17:08

Well, it’s, it seems to me that you really do make it a point to make yourself available within reason, of course, but it sounds like you really are passionate about making sure that they are able to get that time in with you. And that makes all the difference.

Dimitrius  17:24

So you mentioned that a few of the youth that you were helping out they were fit sounds like they were facing some self confidence issues. And it seems to me that that would be common around that age. Yeah, as well as my belief, of course, anxiety, and that sort of thing. Was there any other mental health struggles that you noticed that were a trend within the LGBTQ youth that you encountered

Aime Hutton  17:51

anxiety? And like, I’m also thinking of my own coming out journey that I had myself in 2018 as a grown adult, of, you know, who can I trust? Who’s going to keep my secret? Like, all those the what if question me and the one of cycle that kind of goes in your head when you start spiraling with anxiety.

Aime Hutton  18:11

And so that’s one thing I’ve noticed. And another one that’s not as common, and I wish it wasn’t common wasn’t even in youth, but it does occur sometimes is PTSD. And you know, I hope that that can be stopped yet, one never knows. Because like PTSD is like things that happened to them in the past.

Aime Hutton  18:34

And anxiety, anxiety is things that are haven’t yet happened. And me, me myself, I live with PTSD and anxiety. So it’s a interesting balance to keep myself centered. And like in the today, kind of thing, not thinking about my past and not trying not to obsess and worry about the future, which is where the anxiety comes in.

Dimitrius  18:57

I will say when I worked with youth just in general, with teenagers especially it was really hard to pinpoint when I couldn’t work with foster children for about a few years, it was really hard to pinpoint when they were depressed, versus just, you know, being a teenager and sleeping till three in the afternoon.

Dimitrius  19:18

And that was something that I became very passionate about, because I wanted to make sure that I was able to distinguish the two because you have especially with depression might have depression, and it’s very easy for me to mask it’s very easy to me for me to go to work.

Dimitrius  19:36

And I may just be completely exploding inside. But no one really knows. Unless like my supervisor last year, I went and told her Hey, I’m I’m gonna be taking a month off because, you know, it’s just it’s not it’s not happening right now. And she told me of course she you know, because we were very close. She said, You know, I would have never even thought so thing was going on.

Dimitrius  20:00

And I said, Yeah, that’s what a lot of us go through, they’ll have depression, who work and we have to go to work. And we have to show up. And we have to, you know, be productive, and not let it control completely eradicate everything around us. Right. And so that portion of me struggling with that was when I was like, I need to make sure when I’m working with youth, because I was depressed as a teenager, that I’m seeing if I can see that for what it is when someone else who hasn’t been through that probably cannot, and I can provide them with the resources that they need.

Dimitrius  20:35

And so hearing you pretty much doing the same thing with the youth that you encounter. It’s very heartwarming to hear, and very important for people to know that types of resources. And those types of adults are out there who want to foster an environment where kids can thrive, and where they can figure those things out. Because they do happen.

Aime Hutton  20:58

Yep, it does. And a lot of the work I do even through Zoom is yes, a lot of like all this listen to talk, but it’s it’s getting that active piece, like drawing those things out, like and because a lot of kids express their feelings and emotions and what’s going on through drawing.

Aime Hutton  21:17

And I remember having a conversation one day with a gentleman who I was sort of like pitching this idea to him, but more in group settings, like to do workshops with some of the young boys that he potentially would be working with, because he did lots of things with men, which is great.

Aime Hutton  21:34

So I was coming in, I’m like, Well, I can this is what I do with girls, but it relates boys can do the exactly the same thing. Yes, it’s a lot of art and drawing and that sort of thing. And he was like no boys, no, we need to do like, quote unquote, manly things. And I’m like, Oh, God. I was like, oh my goodness, what what if?

Aime Hutton  21:59

What if the boys that are coming into your, your circle will say that, you know, coming into things that you do with the men aren’t don’t want to go chop down trees and feel the fire? Maybe they do want to do they feel more comfortable doing the art, like all kids can do art, all people can do art. So yeah, it’s just kind of interesting. When he’s like, No, it’s too flu flu to, to know, I’m like, okay, I can see we’re not going to have a win win on this situation. Rather good day.

Dimitrius  22:32

Exactly. And speaking from the men piece, yeah. Because a lot of it’s kind of baked in. I know, in the United States, it’s really baked into the culture where men do not like to express themselves at all. Right? So you’re gonna have a hard time, I have, in my experience, getting them to really verbalize what they are feeling.

Dimitrius  22:54

And I feel that an avenue such as drawing, like you mentioned, would be really beneficial, because it wouldn’t be so much as they’re saying they’re showing it to you, and showing it to you in an environment where they feel safe. And so they’re not going to feel judged, but at the same time, they’re not exactly like saying it out loud.

Dimitrius  23:14

Or people can hear what they what they’re saying. Or they can read with their with their writing. So absolutely, that’s where that can absolutely come in. Because you don’t have to be, you know, drawing anime at 12. You draw stick figures and whatever you’re capable of drawing and still convey what it is that you’re feeling.

Dimitrius  23:34

Yeah. So yes, I absolutely agree with you. Yeah, absolutely. Get them into art. And they don’t have to be, you know, these wonderful superb artists, either. They just, you just draw. That’s art. Thanks for your art.

Aime Hutton  23:49

Its art. Sure, I agree. So it’s that’s what like, when I do my coaching sessions, one to one privately through zoom, I always make sure I’m like, please have some markers and Pepto crowns and crayons and your journal like workbook, and I let the parent know also ahead of time.

Aime Hutton  24:06

I’m like, your child is going to need some paper and some markers or pencil crayons, because I do that activity of, you know, draw what’s in your mind, what’s in your body, what’s in your heart and actually do a fourth one. And the fourth one is draw me a picture of what makes you happy, right? And every week we would do that and to see the progression and the transition even there is really cool to see.

Dimitrius  24:31

Yeah, that’s good, because that reminds me kind of of journaling. But in a visual format. Yeah, picture journaling is what I call it. Perfect. Yeah, that’s exactly what I think of very good because that definitely helps with figuring out where you are self improvement wise. Yeah. So very good. Yes. Very excited to hear that. Perfect. So with regards to you mentioned earlier about your personal journey of overcoming mental health struggles, what was that like? For you,

Aime Hutton  25:00

Oh, there was a journey. Like, and I think it’s I’m still on set journey. Because mental health like people, I feel, yes, you it’s something that you live with and it doesn’t, doesn’t 100% Go away. So my PTSD and anxiety with panic attacks sort of was amalgam was compiled.

Aime Hutton  25:26

So with many different things, one on top of the other, so, and why one therapist that I was working with my counselor therapist, she even she pulled me back even to before I could really remember things. And it was trauma from when I was a baby I was part of part of my story is I was born three months early, and my birth weight was one pound, 12 ounces, and I was given 24 hours to live. And this was in 1976.

Aime Hutton  25:57

So that’s like, trauma right there. And then just the things going on with it. You know, I walked late talk late, I had learning challenges in school. You know, my I know, my parents were asked him when I was in grade three, to put me into what we would call today like special education, like a special class for slow learners or whatever.

Aime Hutton  26:21

And my parents actually said, No, my parents like said no to the school, that no, you can’t put my child in special education, you can hold her back in here instead and give her the extra support through like tutors and whatnot in the school. So I had that.

Aime Hutton  26:36

And then the bullying happened from grades three to grade eight. And that was crazy. High school was high school. Luckily, the bullying stopped in high school, but the damage had already been done. So I was really cautious around lots of people. Because when I was in example, I was in grade seven. And when I was in I was in a grade seven, eight split.

Aime Hutton  26:58

And the girls in grade eight, one of them was like the ringleader as there always is. And she came up behind me in the girls change room and she grabbed me by my bra strap and slung me around the room. When I let go, or she let go, I would fly into a locker, didn’t know who did it didn’t know who I could trust.

Aime Hutton  27:16

So fast forward into high school. And you know, I’m in on the swim team and the youth hockey team later on in high school. And I’m like, in the same room changing with one or two of these girls that I knew were in that locker room back when I was in grade seven. So I was a little cautious about that.

Aime Hutton  27:37

And then I still had my learning challenges and whatnot in school. And then in university, I got involved in an abusive relationship where my ex boyfriend sharply once he was emotionally abusive. And then when I ended the relationship, he stalked me oh my gosh, yeah, all before the age of what 25.

Aime Hutton  27:58

So my healing journey happened in my 30s. And till even now today, like I’m 46 and is just been learning to love myself. Learning to be okay with who I am learning to accept compliments. That’s a big one. I remember saying to my therapist, one day, I was like, you can tell me I’m stupid, ugly, retarded dumb and a loser. I can take that. But tumbly I’m pretty I’m beautiful. I’m smart. I’m amazing.

Aime Hutton  28:27

And a goddess. I struggle with that. So it’s been a lot of work. And my partner’s amazing. She she’s been so supported through our relationship and knowing that like going slow, and doing things maybe not as fast as, quote unquote normal, would we?

Dimitrius  28:45

Well yeah. There’s a speed for everyone. Yeah, speed for everyone. And it just takes time, especially for those of us who fall under the LGBTQ plus umbrella, we are alive. I said this on a previous episode where we did not especially for relationships and things of that nature, where we start them later in life.

Dimitrius  29:07

And it’s like we’re trying to rush to catch up on the things that we missed out on. And being able to make sure that we give ourselves grace for being at maybe a later stage in life and feeling like oh my gosh, I feel like I just should just be so much further ahead and know what I want and be better at relationships than I am currently.

Dimitrius  29:29

It’s like no you didn’t get the same opportunities to explore that and your youth the way that your hetero normative counterparts were able to do that pretty much from like one elementary school till the rest of their entire life without any interruptions or hostility like you they it’s not the same thing you can’t put yourself on that much pressure to reach that. Yeah, absolutely.

Aime Hutton  29:57

It’s it’s interesting to like I because I don’t think came out to myself first in 2018. And at that point, I thought I was bisexual. And then I kept silent, maybe told three or four friends at most. And then in 2019, I was in a another personal development type of coaching program.

Aime Hutton  30:17

And it was all about overcoming fear. And it was interesting. So I remember still to this day, I was sitting on a zoom call just like this, and I just blurted out that I’m bisexual with a lean to the feminine. I haven’t told my parents yet. And the clock, the program stopped. And my coach who’s a wonderful woman, if I can do a shout out to her, her name is Romy Marlowe LS and she’s the founder of the uncommon woman. And I know she stopped the class. And she looked at me and she’s like, you’re safe. We got you.

Aime Hutton  30:47

You work with youth and girls and trying to help them be their best self and live their authentic self. And you’re not there’s a disconnect. So when are when are you going to tell your parents? So through a whole lot of crying and feeling I’m going to be sick, she helped myself and everybody else in the class, like write a letter as if you need to tell someone your truth? And what does that look like? And so I remember writing it and I, how I started was I started with two of my cousins first, then my sister, and then my parents.

Aime Hutton  31:18

And when I told my sister wrote her an email, I was like, you know, I’m fine. It I’ve accepted the fact that if you don’t want me to see my nephews, any more than I’ve accepted that, and I’m okay with that, because my unhappiness comes first. And her response back to me was you can still see your nephews and my views have changed, because there was some history of stuff that I found an email back when we only had one email address for the whole family.

Aime Hutton  31:44

And if you wanted to write to the person, you put their name in the subject line. So I saw that one day in between university when I was home. And it was not to me it was about me. And it was an email from someone in my family asking a friend of theirs who had just come out as gay if they thought that I was. And the response was, I don’t know, I can’t tell.

Aime Hutton  32:09

The main reason. The main question is, can you still love her if she is? And the response that I read back was no. So when I had to, when I chose to come out to my parents and my sister, there was a ton of fear a ton of fear. So sorry, my sister said to me that, you know, we still still love you. And yes, you can see your nephews and just go tell Mom and Dad already has like, okay, crying.

Aime Hutton  32:34

So I remember writing my parents at 10pm here in Calgary, Alberta. And it was midnight, because the time difference, it was midnight in Ontario. And I hit the send button, and I pretty much cried myself to sleep. And then when I woke up the next morning, because of the time difference again, they had already opened it, read it and responded. And I remember just crying even before I opened the email.

Aime Hutton  33:01

And And luckily, my parents are loving and accepting. And, you know, they said, you know, we still love you, we still accept you. We’ll support you as we can. And then at the bottom of the email from my mom, she wrote, we thought something was going on. And you would tell us when you were ready, and I guess you’re ready. So that’s my coming out story.

Aime Hutton  33:22

And then in 2020, I had to do it all over again. Because again, working with my coach, we are in a private session, this time through zoom. And she’s like, there feels like you still have something to tell me like there’s something going on, do you like and I sort of started crying.

Aime Hutton  33:37

And she looked through the computer screen at me and she’s like, do you think you’re only attracted to women? And then I just cried even harder, and nodded my head up and down and squeaked out a yes. And she’s like, Okay, say it. So she had me say it, you know, Hi, my name is Amy.

Aime Hutton  33:53

And I’m attracted to women over and over and over and over again to like, feel strong enough to say it without a problem like to feel confident in it. And I don’t remember writing my parents that time. I think I just did a post on Facebook about it, because they already accepted me as I was at that point.

Aime Hutton  34:11

Anyway, so I’m like, don’t have to tell them again. I’m good. The fun part was telling them about my now fiance and trying to do that and work around that. But again, my parents were amazing. And you know, hello, partner like Great to meet you and deft. So it was getting again through we did it through video chat, because there were Ontario’s

Dimitrius  34:33

Yeah, that’s that’s quite a bit that you’ve you’ve gone through an experience. Absolutely. So given that, I wonder, given what you’ve been through, given what you have been able to achieve with working with you. What would you add the age that you are now go back and tell yourself if and I believe it was 1991 was one of the years you mentioned. What would you go back and tell yourself due for yourself, if you could, like, you go back to 1991?

Aime Hutton  35:04

Oh my gosh, I was in grade eight, I’m gonna just the the self, the encouraging, like the self encouragement that you’re going to get through, you’re going to be okay, you’re something else is going to come your way and university, you’re gonna get through that too, and you’re going to be okay.

Aime Hutton  35:20

And you know, your family loves you and you have friends around you. And you know, just the encouraging piece just to keep going. And just, I’m a fan of Walt Disney World and Disney in general. And the movie of Finding Dory just came in my head and Finding Nemo, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep going.

Dimitrius  35:42

So given all of the resources that you provide, to the youth that you work with, what are some that we still don’t have enough of?

Aime Hutton  35:51

We don’t have safe spaces, or braver spaces or even accountability spaces. You know, that’s another part that I do. And I work with educators, I’ve created a whole entire program for educators on how to create a physical safe space in their school that is manned by teachers, and you know, at lunch or recess or before school after school kind of thing that a youth can come to and say, Hey, I need help. I was just attacked in the locker room, for example. I wish I had a place like, I wish I had a place like that.

Dimitrius  36:21

Oh, yeah, I think most of us do. For sure. A safe space? Well, I’m glad that you reach out and you tell administrators and the school that you know, the kind of need to work on that on developing those spaces. I know what an uphill battle that can be. I’ve known that since I was a teenager.

Dimitrius  36:41

And I was like, hey, you know, back when things were very much more much more conservative, and much more where Oh, no, you can’t have that. Yeah, I was right there on the front line saying now we need these spaces for us. Whether you accept us or not, we need space.

Dimitrius  36:57

So I completely understand how difficult that can be to convince not only just convinced, but to get them to just get the ball rolling on it, and see that it’s worthwhile. And once you’ve even managed to start it to keep convincing them to go through with it, you know, for the youth? Absolutely, absolutely.

Aime Hutton  37:18

Yeah. And I know you’re gonna put, I’m guessing my at least my email in your show notes and stuff like that is and the educator listening or even like Girl Scout Girl Guide, Boy Scout scouts, Canada, you know, anyone who works with youth, if they want help as well, in creating some sort of space for their meetings, and whatever, please reach out to me, I have a whole curriculum. There’s five, five pillars in this, I don’t remember them right now off the top of my head, but there’s five of them, that the educators or the adult leaders of youth go through and it’s like a full day workshop for educators to do with me.