Most of us have a hard time being wrong. In fact, I’m convinced many people believe they’ll spontaneously combust if they admit it. Yet, there’s so much strength in admitting you messed up. Plus, being right all the time is boring. 

If you frequent social media (or even if you don’t), you see this in practice daily. Someone makes a statement intended to be factual. They then receive replies proving that statement to be false. Fairly normal, right?

Yet, instead of simply admitting they made an error, the person deflects, insults, and/or denies the truth. It’s infuriating! Why are we like this, and why does it seem to be getting worse?

Cue the theme music, right? Let’s explore our fear of being wrong and why being right all the time is boring. 

Why We’re Afraid to be Wrong

A research study showed that 40% of workers had a fear of failure and making mistakes at work 20-40% of the time. That’s a sizable amount of time given how much of our day is spent on the job. 

So it’s not a huge leap to imagine how this seeps into everyday life and interactions. Admitting fault requires self-awareness and emotional maturity. People who lack these traits struggle with the idea that they can admit they’re wrong without colossal negative impacts. 

So, why are so many of us like this? There’s quite a few reasons, such as:

Insecurity

People who struggle with their self-image find it difficult to admit when they’re wrong. Deep down, they may have a low opinion of themselves. This can result in them subconsciously not trusting their thought process or ability to make the right decisions. 

Pride & Ego

Let’s build upon the insecurity element. A person with a fragile ego will refuse to admit they’re wrong as an act of self-preservation. Their pride is often over-inflated, which leads to them doing anything that will protect their sense of superiority.

Fear of Failure

We often view failure as an ending rather than an opportunity. Failure can also shatter the idealistic version of ourselves where we can do no wrong. It shows us that we’re fallible, even if we know better. 

Fear of Embarrassment & Rejection

Let’s face it. We don’t like feeling or being shamed, and we especially don’t like being humiliated.

Embarrassment isn’t just uncomfortable. It triggers many of our deepest insecurities and social fears. As a result, we may avoid any potential embarrassing situation which we perceive as a threat to our social standing. 

Bias

People who are more rigid in their beliefs often struggle with bias. When our way of thinking is challenged, we may immediately dismiss the opposing information outright. Whether it’s confirmation bias or prejudice, some individuals refuse to accept information that doesn’t fit within their limited point of view.

Learned Behavior

The refusal to admit when we’re wrong can start as early as our toddler stage. As a child, an individual may have been harshly punished for making mistakes. As a result, that person grew up to become a perfectionist. Their sense of self-worth is directly tied to how well they perform in their career or other areas. 

What is Atelophobia?

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 12.5% of US adults experience a specific phobia at some point in their lives. However, did you know there’s an actual phobia for being afraid of being wrong?

PsychCentral defines atelophobia as “an intense fear of being imperfect, making mistakes, or being wrong that drives you to avoid certain situations and fixate on perfectionism.”

The key here is that the fear is often irrational and disproportionate to the situation. Not everyone who refuses to admit they’re wrong suffers from atelophobia. However, it can help shed light on more extreme cases.

How it Affects Our Relationships

Everyone, regardless of how smart or mature they are, makes mistakes. This includes causing harm to people they care about. We are all human, and we are very imperfect. 

Failing to admit fault can negatively affect our relationships with others in many ways. A few examples include:

Trust

Many people refuse to admit they’re wrong because they want to be seen as an authority on a particular subject or point of view. However, consistently refusing to admit fault can erode trust and have the opposite effect. 

In time, this individual can be viewed as untrustworthy because they never concede. No matter how much evidence disproves their point, they’ll never own up to their mistake. So why bother?

Poor Communication

Effective communication is about give and take. Emotionally mature people understand how to balance their beliefs and emotions when expressing themselves. They also understand how and when to admit fault and move on. 

Emotionally immature individuals cannot separate their sense of self-worth from their need to be right. As a result, they may constantly feel like every conversation turns into an argument or a fight with no resolution.

Decreased Conflict Resolution

When we fail to establish trust and communicate effectively, we struggle with conflict resolution. An important part of conflict resolution is humility. We must be able to accept that we’re not always in the right and that it’s okay to own up to it. 

Disagreements are a natural part of everyday communication. However, when we continually demonstrate we can’t admit fault, this breaks down our ability to resolve conflicts. 

Isolation

No person is an island, even someone who always thinks they’re right. If people can’t trust that someone is going to consider their point of view, they may avoid the person completely. 

This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. So, while the person’s sense of superiority remains intact, it comes at the price of maintaining meaningful relationships.

Why Being Right all the Time is Boring

Now we reach the million dollar question. Why is being right all the time so boring?

Think about it. If you truly knew all that there was to know, what would there be to strive for? How would you grow as a person? What would you even be able to do with all of that knowledge?

Sure, you could flaunt it to satisfy your ego. But at what point would you ever feel truly satisfied or fulfilled? The answer is you likely wouldn’t, even with all the answers at your disposal. 

Self-esteem and Admitting Fault

People who struggle with admitting fault may have low self-esteem. They may tie their self-worth and dignity to being right all the time. As a result, they will end up refusing to admit fault, even when there’s clear evidence. 
If you struggle with self-doubt and owning up to mistakes, I have self-esteem worksheets you can use. These free resources can help you explore your core beliefs and work towards improving your negative self-talk.